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Behind The Bell: Behind The Scenes Of Saved By The Bell With The Guy Who Was There For Everything (2009)

by Dustin Diamond(Favorite Author)

2.23 of 5 Votes: 1

ISBN

0981239692 (ISBN13: 9780981239699)

languge

English

genre

Memoir & Autobiography

publisher

Transit Publishing

review 1: 23 Word Review:Holden Caulfield grows up and writes a book. Actually it’s Screech and it’s not much of a book. Best suited for MST3K fans.----------------------------------------------------------Diamond’s book is less of an expose and more of a modern day Catcher in the Rye. Diamond fits into the role of a grown up Holden Caulfield quite well. He’s angry, embittered and surrounded by a world full of posers, losers and dirty dirty fakes. He, of course, rises above it all, watching on with an air of self-righteous superiority as everyone else goes about their grubby little lives. That doesn’t mean Diamond is above the same behavior that leads him to label Mario Lopez a ‘man whore’. Lopez – along with every other cast member aside from Dennis Haskins (aka... more Mr. Belding) – is described only briefly and treated as a bit actor in the story of Dustin Diamond’s reign of ‘Saved By The Bell’. Throughout the book, Diamond inadvertently paints himself as a sniveling, embittered, petty narcissist which, again, dovetails perfectly with the profile of a grown up version of Salinger’s anti-hero Holden Caulfield. The stories Diamond shares are so obnoxiously over the top, they beggar belief. He brags about how many “chicks I’ve banged” on nearly every page. His exploits seem to have started right out of the gate, apparently thanks to his “monster wang” which he refers to no less than a dozen times throughout the book. He focuses so intently on what a ladies man he was that it borders on the towns of Absurdville and Desperation Row.While Dustin doesn’t seem too interested in giving up the details on his cast members, he was clearly a bit desperate to fill the 311 large font, widely kerned pages which make up the book. He includes the entire prime time line up circa 1992 and, towards the end, entire paragraphs are reprinted right one after each other. This might have been done by the publisher in a desperate attempt to stretch out the already thin material just a little more but it just as easily could have been the result the editors just not noticing because, I gotta be honest, this isn’t an easy book to finish.When it comes to the crew who managed to get SBTB on the air every week, Diamond goes back and forth between what seems to be a genuine respect for their work and seeing them as little more than props. He recounts the details of camera placement and screen snaps for several pages but, when he gets to the color-key work done he sums it up by telling his readers “There’s probably some elaborate technical reason [behind the job of color-keying] …. But I have no idea what that undoubtedly excellent reason might be.” Clearly, he also couldn’t be bothered to look it up. Diamond wants to be seen as a nice guy stuck in an awful world, forced into situations that left him jaded, potentially spoiled by youthful fame and fortune, but still a nice guy at heart. Sadly, he succeeds only at sounding like a whining, self-important prick. He tells a story about having been wronged by an extra. She insulted him in front of the rest of the cast and, to retaliate, he allegedly stole her purse and pissed in it while she was having lunch. Because, you know, every girl leaves her purse behind in a common area where anyone could take it when she leaves for lunch during the work day. That TOTALLY happens.One of his more ludicrous claims is that he carried on and off-and-on sexual affair with Linda Mancuso who was, at that time, VP of children’s programming at NBC. Like many of his tall tales, the story begins almost believably – with a building sexual tension that is almost-maybe-if-you’ve-had-a-few-to-drink-kinda-sorta believable. But then things take on the air of a late name Skinemax movie. In an unspecified year (Diamond is almost deliberately vague on his timelines) several members of the cast and crew, including Diamond and Mancuso, were flown to an appearance in New York. One evening, Diamond saunters down the hall to Linda’s room. Inside, her mother is asleep in an adjoining room and she and a friend are sitting on the couch drinking wine and watching soft core porn. I shit you not – that is seriously his story. The friend apparently offers a giggly excuse and leaves the room, leaving Dustin and Linda alone. After a brief make-out session, Dustin leaves and the affair kicks off in full steam some time later. He claims the affair carried on for years and until they simply (and discretely) “drifted apart.” Some time later, Linda was diagnosed with cancer and passed away in 2003. Diamond admits he didn’t attend her funeral and, for the reader, the entire story bears a striking resemblance to those boastful tales heard on the playground about a girlfriend (or boyfriend) a classmate has totally gone to third base with. But you wouldn’t know them … they live in Canada. Or it happened at Summer Camp. In its own way, Behind the Bell a tragic tale and readers are likely to finish the book feel a small amount of pity for Diamond. Then, however, they’ll turn the page to find he has included three appendices to the book• A Saved by the Bell Drinking Game (created by someone else)• To All the Chicks I Banged Before: An Open Letter• A Fan’s Top EpisodesThis final appendix will erase any shred of sympathy you may still be clinging on to desperately. Dustin’s admittedly “very unofficial” list includes 12 forgettable episodes meant to be a collection of “fan favorites”. Missing from his list is the single most memorable episode in the history of the series, “Jessie’s Song” which featured the infamous ‘I’m so excited” clip. He could have picked any 11 other Screech-centric episodes for his list, but when you’re making a fan favorite list, it might be a good idea to actually include an episode the fans have proven they love even 20 years after Bayside High closed its doors for good. After finishing Diamond’s memoir of his time on SBTB, I have to wonder if he may be have provided the real life inspiration for Kenny Powers. The irony in this book is that being a part of a long running television show like SBTB is an impressive accomplishment. Diamond has every right to be proud of what he, his cast mates and the crew managed to accomplish over the 10 years the show was on the air. The way he tells his story, however, diminishes his accomplishments. In the end, Behind the Bell is little more than the incessant inner dialogue of a narcissist the world has forgotten.
review 2: This book was downright terrible. As a SBTB fan, I was a little curious to get the inside scoop behind the scenes, on the characters, etc. Learning about how the television stage was interesting, which is why I gave this book the one star. There was very little positive in the book, making me believe that this was a terrible phase of life. All he did was complain about other cast members and talk about sexual activities. I would not recommend to anybody, especially teens. less

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