I Don’t Follow My Dreams Anymore

Let’s be honest. Our dreams change over time and some of our dreams also die. People almost always read, hear, and use the cliche, “Follow your dreams”, yet in some way, not everybody gets to the end of making their dreams come true. Heartbreaking circumstances, discouraging words, or blinding achievements — these, with all the other reasons, could easily put to death the potential ambitions that we have carried and treasured for so long in our hearts.

I wanted to be a cashier when I was a young girl. (Don’t you love it when the cash register *dings* and the drawer opens??) I also wanted to become a flight attendant just so I could go to different parts of the world. But it was teaching that has always been in my heart since I was six. I’ve always wanted to be an elementary or a high school teacher but my parents did not want that for me. From that moment, I kind of stopped believing that I can still teach. From that moment, I knew that I cannot rely on my dreams for direction. I started to believe that I cannot anchor myself in them anymore knowing that they can change over night or die in the long run.

When my parents (and even my relatives) discouraged me to take up BS Education for college, I didn’t see at that time that God had something bigger and better in mind for me.

I actually became a teacher — although it was in a form of a pediatric speech and language pathologist (SLP). (FYI: An SLP is someone who helps people with communication and swallowing difficulties.) I also became a part-time college instructor in a far away institution to teach aspiring SLPs. I had to travel 3-6 hours every week and back just so I could follow God’s call for me. God definitely made “my” dream come true but it was on His terms, and in His timing.

For all of us, little do we know, that our childhood dreams and desires? They weren’t birthed out of our interests or our skills nor the “encouragements” of the people around us. It was God, the Maker of the heavens, the Cradler of the stars, the Author of life, who designed it and desired it for us first. God has great dreams for you and they are definitely bigger and greater than the dreams that you have for yourself. (See Jeremiah 29:11)

Because God has wonderful plans for you, you can actually rest in Him and trust Him in the fulfilling of His unique purpose for your life. Because God intentionally crafted grand dreams for you, you don’t have to compare your purpose to that of others’. You don’t have to covet their own God-given role. God has equipped you and has chosen you to accomplish an unparalleled task, one that cannot be accomplished by any other person. Your purpose may not be as big as becoming a well-renowned author or someone who has a leadership position in your campus or in the company you work for; people might not understand the significance of your calling or they might mock your calling, but all of these won’t matter. People’s opinions, your present situation, and your current position will never make God’s dreams for you any less than epic.

I thought I’ve come to the actualization of my dream after being able to teach college students for two semesters. The long travel hours, the late nights of making and checking exams and reflection papers, the encoding of grades and never-ending emails — it was tiring but I didn’t mind the stress because I was enjoying what I was doing. Well, spoiler alert: I just left my job — my dream job.

I was seeking God and crying out to Him, asking Him if this is what He wants me to do — to let go of the very thing that I love to do. Besides, wasn’t He the One who called me to this line of work in the first place? So that I could use my position as an instructor to share His love to my students?

But here I am, writing and telling the whole (virtual) world for the first time that I can’t pursue my dream anymore, because I’m pursuing Someone else.

Dreams change. Dreams die. But God doesn’t.

God.

He is my end goal, my reward, my ultimate dream.

In the beginning, God has always been after my heart… He wasn’t interested in my becoming, but He is more concerned with my relationship with Him. He is just after my heart… and He also desires me to be after His.

I bid my temporary goodbyes to my students a few weeks ago and here’s what I told them:

“Sometimes, you need to let go of the good things so you can take hold of the greater ones.”

In my case, the good thing is my teacher dream and the greater one is God. Leaving my work in the academe, my colleagues-turned-friends, and my students wasn’t easy but I had to do it… The pain of letting them go is nothing compared to the peace and joy in getting more of God in exchange.

Having said all these, I want to encourage you, reader. I pray that God will be your greatest dream, and your ultimate pursuit. May you anchor your soul on Him, not on your dreams or aspirations, neither your successes nor frustrations, because all these are temporary. God is eternal.

I hope that you will not get so caught up with chasing your dreams that you forget the One who gave it to you.