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Washed And Waiting: Reflections On Christian Faithfulness And Homosexuality (2010)

by Wesley Hill(Favorite Author)

4.28 of 5 Votes: 1

ISBN

0310330033 (ISBN13: 9780310330035)

languge

English

genre

Memoir & Autobiography

publisher

Zondervan

review 1: About a year or so ago I stumbled into the writings of Hill and others, LGBT and straight, on the concept of celibacy. I was quickly fascinated by the ideas and practice of celibacy in the context of very sexualized mainstream cultures and (often) very family-and-marriage-glorifying evangelical cultures. It's been my observation that these writers are often extremely articulate, as they often defend a point of view that is currently very unpopular, but even more often, describe a lifestyle and personal journey that seems pretty foreign to many. Wesley Hill's book is deeply personal and revealing of both his journey and his beliefs. It's not a perfect book, but I found it an interesting one.
review 2: I planned to start reading this book on the flight from LA to... more Indonesia. I ended up reading the entire book. Wesley Hill is not a "neutral" writer. He has a decided interest in this discussion. He is a homosexual, but his first commitment is to following Jesus. He looks unflinchingly at homosexuality and shares his angst-filled journey with us. This book is well-worth reading for any Christian, not least because Wes connects homosexuality with so many other areas of life. His take on the Christian faith is also well-worth embracing. There is some real wisdom in this book.I appreciate that Wes makes the effort to make homosexuality and its effects less unique in the scope of human experience. I'm sure that being homosexual can make one feel like an outsider. But Wes is surely right that spending years actually being an outsider in a country with a different language, appearance, and customs also makes one feel like an outsider. I'm sure that homosexuals can feel very alone and being denied sex seems cruel. But Wes is surely right that the millions of lifetime single men and women who wanted marriage and all that comes with it were equally lonely. Most of all, I loved Wes's call for us to love. I thoroughly enjoyed this book.Here are a few of my favorite quotes:“We must call into question any notion that the supreme expression of human love is found in marriage,” a friend once wrote in a letter to me. The ancients did not contend this (consider Plato’s Symposium). And neither does the Bible. The Old Testament suggests that there is love between men greater than that found in marriage (2 Samuel 1:26). But so does the New Testament. According to Jesus, there is no greater love than the sacrificial love of one friend for another (John 15:13). Is it not peculiar that in writing the greatest discourse on love found in the New Testament, Paul chooses to put it, not with his discussion of marriage in 1 Corinthians 7 (here love is not even mentioned), but in the context of spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 13! And even when agape love is discussed in the marital context of Ephesians 5, it is sacrificial love that is the model for marital love—not the other way around. Marriage is a venue for expressing love, which in its purest form exists, first and foremost, outside of it. The greatest joys and experiences God has for us are not found in marriage, for if they were, surely God would not do away with marriage in heaven. But since he has already told us he is doing away with it, we, too, can realize that the greatest things God has to give us are not to be found in marriage at all. (p.86)Dobson talked a lot about the “causes” of homosexuality—childhood sexual abuse, an emotionally distant father, the absence of affectionate male role models. I remember scrutinizing my past and present experiences. Did I fit these categories? I had never been sexually abused by anyone, let alone my parents. Was I close enough to my dad? I could think of one time I tried to initiate a weekly time for just the two of us to be together, but it flopped. Plus, I never learned to play golf with him, nor did I want to take up deer hunting, as he seemed to hope I would. Did that mean I was suffering from a lack of paternal intimacy? I wracked my brain for answers, testing every possible explanatory avenue to understand how I came to have the homoerotic feelings that blazed like a fire in my head every day. (p.15)Over lunch one day, Jenna described that dark time and told me something that has remained with me ever since: “I just wanted to be whole again, Wes, and I thought that by pretending it wasn’t there, the depression would just go away. But ignoring is not the path to redeeming. If I wanted this depression to be redeemed, I had to face it head-on.” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, realizing those words were for me. Ignoring is not the path to redeeming. (p.19)“If anyone would come after me,” Jesus said, “let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). With these words, Jesus issued the marching orders everyone who chooses to become a Christian must accept. Suffering like Jayber Crow’s in his desire for a married woman or mine with my same-sex attraction—all of it, seen from the vantage point of faith, is obedience to Jesus’ call for us to join him in his dying and self-denial. Does this mean that everyone who wants to share the true humanity of Jesus must be single and celibate? No. It does, however, shift the terms of our modern thinking about sexuality. It dislodges our assumption that having sex is necessary to be truly, fully alive. If Jesus abstained and if he is the measure of what counts as true humanity, then I may abstain too—and trust that, in so doing, I will not ultimately lose. (p.58)Coping with loneliness as a homosexual Christian requires a profound theology of brokenness, I think. Alluding to Romans 8:23 (“We ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies”), Richard Hays sketches the outline of what such a theology might look like: homosexual Christians who battle constant loneliness are “summoned to a difficult, costly obedience, while ‘groaning’ for the ‘redemption of our bodies’ (Romans 8:23). Anyone who does not recognize this as a description of authentic Christian existence has never struggled seriously with the imperatives of the gospel, which challenge and frustrate our ‘natural’ impulses in countless ways.” less

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