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Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On (2009)

by Candace Walsh(Favorite Author)
3.64 of 5 Votes: 5
1580052762 (ISBN13: 9781580052764)
Seal Press
review 1: "Ask me about my divorce. You wanted to know about my college graduation, my first job, by new apartment, my engagement, my wedding, my honeymoon, my baby's birth. All rites of passage, all changes, all evidence of growth. As is this. And, maybe it's not the best moment, but, make space for the possibility that I have some cool things to share. Becuase it's been a wild ride, and I am learning new things every day." - Candace Walsh"When you're in an eighteen-year relationship, you get used to saying 'we' when talking about your life and future - 'We'll go backpacking in Laos,' 'We'll move to Brooklyn and watch our child grow,' 'When we're old and wrinkled, we'll take walks, hand in hand.' It never occurs, even in nightmares, that mental illness might make you conjugate verb... mores differently: 'I'll tuck my daughter in,' or 'I'm eating dinner alone.'" - Sue Sanders"Marriage is a beautiful thing, when it works and when it doesn't. When it works, it's made up of two people who love each other, sharing life's best and worst moments, fostering each other's growth, and having really great sex. When it doesn't, it was made up of two people who loved each other, shared life's best and worst moments, fostered each other's growth, and most likely had really great sex. So, instead of sitting with the last incarnation of it, which led to a split, I like to appreciate and be grateful for the whole, which gave me so much." - Candace Walsh"Year seven, my fortieth birthday: I flew back home to San Francisco after a celebratory spa weekend with the girls. Upon reaching home, I threw open the apartment door, excited to tell Raj about the new seaweed therapy that had infused my skin and soothed my soul. But I was greeted with nothing.... What did Raj leave me? A note on the bedside table. 'You are a special person, so if life really does begin at forty, then it's time I set you free. I'm gay, I'm coming out of the closet and leaving you to settle down with the love of my life. Happy 40th birthday!'" - R. M. Hora"The kid was just a few years old by the time we finally got around to making our loveless nonrelationship legal, but we didn't bring her to the divorce, because it would've just seemed sadder. The room was empty but for me, the Hippie, the judge, and the bailiff. We read our divorce vows to each other and then the judge asked, 'Is there anything else?' I told him I wouldn't really feel like the marriage had been spiritually undone without the seven-foot-tall Elvis who'd married us there to sing 'Love Me Tender,' but replacing the word 'love' with 'divorce.' The bailiff snorted into his coffee.... Walking out of the courtroom, just two single folks headed to the record store, it occurred to me how unceremonious getting married and divorced can be. It had taken the Hippie and I just over one hour, total." - Kate McDade"I'm fairly certain that if I do end up with the divorce trifecta, no one will want to be me when they grow up. Which is a damn shame. Because if I'm happy, that's the kind of fairytale everyone should dream of." - Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant"The big test, though, was what would happen when Jeff met my daughter. I wasn't nervous. I had no doubt that they would get along, but I was scared that they would, and then the relationship would end and someone else would vanish from my daughter's life. Their meeting: a gold seal indicating that our relationship was Official and Real. I was scared of hypothetical loss - if it ended, what might happen to her? To me? Part of me wanted to stay withour gals-in-Brooklyn existence, a land without men, a magical place where we couldn't get hurt." Sue Sanders"In sending me these lines, Claire, an infinitely more eloquent romantic than I, understood that her discovery was more providential than lucky. She wrote, 'I did find you. But you wanted to be found, even if it was just for the span of one day... and you are still wanting to be found, and I am still finding you, more and more, every time we connect. And you are finding me.'" - Laura Andre"We laugh and explain that chickens make baby chickens, and humans make baby humans. Secundo looks at me. 'Before I was born, mumma,' he says, 'you carried me in your univers?' We laugh again. 'I carried you in my uterus,' I say, sobered at the aptness of his words. I do carry them in my universe. Wherever I go, they are with me, they are part of me. They formed inside me, from my genetic material. I birthed them, nursed them, and gave myself to them. I love them and care for them so selflessly that I am ready to let them go - that I have let them go - into their own lives. And in so doing, I come more fully into my own life, into my own universe, which I have only just started to explore." - Kathleen Weibe
review 2: Kind of a breath of fresh air. Having just finalized a divorce one can often feel like they've just contracted social leprosy. The subject makes many wildly uncomfortable, immediately responding with the kind of words usually reserved for deaths in the family. Or sheer avoidance of the subject (or persons involved) can make one feel plenty isolated. Having some variety and positivity throughout these stories, as well as acknowledging the good that can come out of change made this a real help. I ate this up in about a night. A lot of great humor, big feelings and a fantastic age range shows this is a part of living. less
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Very good mix of different ages, length of marriage, situations, etc.
Maybe I like it because my story is on page 125.
Great stories, positive, optimistic.
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