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Girlvert: A Porno Memoir (2011)

by Oriana Small(Favorite Author)

3.64 of 5 Votes: 3

ISBN

0982505639 (ISBN13: 9780982505632)

languge

English

genre

Memoir & Autobiography

publisher

A Barnacle Book

review 1: I wasn't sure how to rate this. It's always hard for me to rate memoirs because it feels weird to evaluate such a personal story. I admire and appreciate anyone who is willing to expose themselves by writing a book about their most personal experiences. The actual story being told in GIRLVERT is pretty brutal. I don't watch porn but for some reason I like to read porn memoirs. I erroneously thought that this book was a more feminist take on the porn industry. I was wrong as hell. The author specializes in super hardcore pornography that sounds degrading and physically and emotionally painful. I struggled to understand how a woman could perpetuate the intensely negative view of women that her films exemplify. Small says it's acting out rape or violence against women as ... morefantasy, as if that somehow justifies portraying characters who are abused so egregiously, but I know there have to be people who take that subject matter at face value. People who think all women like being handled roughly and demeaned in every way possible. It scares me. The author struck me as a very troubled person, and while she asserts progress at the end of the book, she attributes her positive changes to the influence of her husband. Throughout the book Small is tremendously impacted by her relationships with men. At the end, this remains the case, her husband just happens to be a better dude than the ones she was with previously. I say again, I am rather torn regarding rating this book. I loathe the attitudes about women and their sexuality that I believe Small's specific genre of pornography perpetuates, but I do respect her willingness to expose herself by writing a memoir. Small sounds pretty screwed up, and her films sound horrifying to me. I don't like thinking about the fact that these movies even exist. I wish they didn't. GIRLVERT was interesting but reading it was painful.
review 2: Cringe-worthy Eye-opener …Reading GIRLVERT is like a white water rafting trip, you have an idea of what you’re about to experience, but don’t realize how rough the ride is going to be until you’re well into the trip … when the trip is over, you’re not only relieved, but have some appreciation for what you just went through. I found Oriana Small’s account of her life in porn (as Ashley Blue) to be educational, brutally honest, eye-opening, frightening, depressing and, at times, quite disgusting. The storyline is a staple Hollywood tragedy: an emotionally immature young adult from a broken home tries to build a life in the big city, but succumbs to world of drugs, sex and bad relationships. Small, a woman with no apparent inhibitions openly divulges her life in pornography. It’s not a happy story and it certainly isn’t pretty, but it is revealing and more importantly, honest.GIRLVERT is an accumulation of small chapters that each highlights pivotal/defining moments in Small’s life as a porn actress. The clichéd “wanted to be a model, but ended up in porn” somewhat rings true as she and her boyfriend naively start with nude pictures and progress quickly to a more extreme type of pornography. The honesty of her writing is evident as much of what she describes doing (and what’s being done to her) is pretty rough to read about. While she admits to be sexually adventurous (shoving her fist down her throat is a “normal” aspect of her personal sex life), throughout her book she details incidents that were certainly not enjoyable … but the payday justified any misery she experienced. This behind-the-scenes view of hardcore porn really reveals the seedy nature of the business. Much of what she describes is simply filth … the disgusting, unclean actors, the rampant drug use, the frequent transfer of STDs and the willing exchange of every bodily fluid imaginable. The idea of the glammed-up pornstar is nothing but a façade … the reality is that the business is rotten on the inside, but the money is good for those willing to the do the darker stuff and Small was more than willing.Probably the most frustrating aspect of the book is the constant display of Small’s dependency on men who preyed on her emotional naiveté. The cloying boyfriend who joined her in the porn business simply never goes away. When he finally does go away, he’s simply replaced by another annoying and insecure porn actor. Over and over again, Small admits to being duped and used by various men in her personal life and work (in the studio). Much of the mess that was Small’s personal life, however, was due to her constant drug and alcohol use. Virtually every chapter involved a snort, chug, swallow or toke of some mind-altering substance (reminding me of the depravity portrayed in the movie “Panic in Needle Park”). The history of rash decisions, her dysfunctional family, emotional dependency, substance abuse and pushing the limits of her body for her porn career leave the image of a broken, abused ragdoll. However, Small somehow perseveres, matures, finds a more stable mate and appears to be on-the-mend (emotionally). While there is some sense of closure at the book’s end (as Small appears to find peace with herself and her life), it is still somewhat open-ended as her drug-intake, while curbed, still continues.GIRLVERT is a book that chronicles a lot of aggressive and not-so-clean sex … it isn’t for everyone. I consider myself fairly open-minded and still found several pages in the book tough to read … a simple two-car wreck that seemed to grow into an ongoing pile-up. But, I found the insider’s perspective of the porn industry quite eye-opening. Small doesn’t lure readers into a trap of feeling sympathy for her, as she has no qualms/regrets about the path in life she’s taken as an adult … Kudos to Small for telling it like it is. less

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