‘TWD’ Review: Don’t Be A Good Samaritan

Disclaimer: Spooooooooilers! Got it?

So, in regards to last night’s The Walking Dead season premiere, there are a ton of topics I could touch on, son. However; as of right now, there’s only one storyline that’s on my mind, man. I mean, in an apocalyptic world of zombies and shitty people, Gregory might be the shittiest, fam. Look, he’s been a bitch-ass bitch ever since he’s appeared on screen, but he took it to another level last night. All in all, Father Gabriel learned the hard way that being a Good Samaritan is for the birds, bruh.

Ok, for those who are familiar, its World War 3 in TWD land. Rick Grimes finally grew his balls back and decided to take the fight to Negan and The Saviors. In any case, with the help of his Alexandria kinfolk, Rick invaded The Sanctuary and unleashed a storm of bullets, fire and random walkers. Now, before all of the excitement got underway, Gregory, the herb-ass leader of the Hilltop Colony, betrayed Rick and company by pledging his allegiance to Negan. Anyway, the way I see it, that’s more than enough reason for him to catch a slug, son. However; Father Gabriel seemed to feel differently, man.

Now, in the midst of the chaos, Father Gabriel decided to go and save Gregory. Meaning, he left the sanctity of his metal-fortified car and tried to grab the hoe-ass Hilltop leader. So, what did Gabriel get for his troubles? An infestation of walkers and a stolen car, courtesy of Gregory. Yeah, this fuckity-fucktard really left Gabriel stranded in the middle of the nonsense. Shit, I knew saving Gregory was a bad idea from the jump, but I never expected things to go so left, fam.

Moving on, just when I thought Gabriel was done for, we see him find shelter from the walkers. However; there’s one glaring issue: he’s now trapped in the same building as Negan. Man, I don’t know what’s worse, bruh: the walkers or Negan. Shit, I think I’d rather die at the hands and mouths of the walkers, son. Listen, Negan is BATSHIT CRAZY, man!

In the end, the world of TWD ain’t the Bible, fam. That Good Samaritan shit ain’t good for anybody, bruh. Ultimately, being a standup dude has now placed Father Gabriel in a pool of shit, folks. By and by, something TURRIBLE needs to happen to Gregory, son! Real talk, somebody better torture his ass before they kill him, man. Yeah, shit just got that real, people. That is all. LC out.