There are often complaints by women that the husbands spend most of their time away from home. They spend most of their time away with friends or visiting parents. On the other hand, husbands complain that the wives are always busy with children and do not care about their husbands.
Let us see what the Word of God says on such an issue:
1) Your Friend is your equal
We find details of friendship between husband and wife and that they are equals in Genesis 2:15-25. God gave man the responsibility of cultivating and guarding the earth. He took charge of the animals and named them. But out of the animals there was not any that was suitable for man’s companionship. Man desired to have an equal. He needed someone who would stand beside him not someone over whom he would rule. That is according to Genesis 2:20, which says, “The man gave names to all the tame animals, to all the birds in the air, and to all the wild animals. He saw many animals and birds, but he could not find a companion that was right for him.”
God then made a wife for the man. She was an equal to the man and that is why she could be his friend. She was part of him. Man did not rule over her. The man and his wife worked together and became one flesh according to Genesis 2:24. There was no hidden thing between them. They trusted each other perfectly. As a result they were not ashamed to be together according to Genesis 2:25, which says, “The man and his wife were naked, but they were not ashamed.” Adam and Eve were best friends. God meant for marriage to be that way. The husband and wife must completely trust each other. They must reveal and share their thoughts and bodies. No one should rule the other. They must help and support each other. God’s desire was for the husband and wife to be each other’s best friend. That is the purpose for marriage.
2. Your spouse should be closer to you than any of your parents
Let us look at these scriptures; Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, and Ephesians 5:31:
Gen 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife. In this way two people become one.
Mat 19:5 And God said, ‘That is why a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. And the two people will become one.’
Eph 5:31 The Scriptures say, “That is why a man will leave his father and mother and join his wife, and the two people will become one.”
The husband brought his bride to his parents’ house when they married during the time the Bible was written. This is what is practiced in many areas of Africa as a custom. However, God is saying the husband must also leave his father and mother when he gets married. Families should not interfere in the marriage. When a husband has to choose between his wife and his parents, he should be by his wife according to Ephesians 5:31-33:
Eph 5:31 The Scriptures say, “That is why a man will leave his father and mother and join his wife, and the two people will become one.”
Eph 5:32 That secret truth is very important–I am talking about Christ and the church.
Eph 5:33 But each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself. And a wife must respect her husband.
They are now one. They both have to honor their parents and listen to their advice. The two are now close friends.
3. Marriage is more important than your children
In the scriptures we read in the preceding point, we read nothing about children. This shows that marriage is complete in the sight of God even if there are no children. It is people who attach the issue of children to validate a marriage especially boy children. However, according to the Word, children are an added gift and a blessing to parents. Marriage is a foundation for taking full responsibility of your children. If a husband must choose between his wife and children, his wife must come first. The same applies to the wife, her husband must come first. A proper foundation needs to be laid. The children must know that their parents are one. Otherwise, a wrong foundation will crack.
4. One husband one wife
Genesis 2:24 does not talk about wives. God made one wife for Adam. Even today God is talking about one husband and one wife for each other according to Malachi 2:15. It says, “God wants husbands and wives to become one body and one spirit. Why? So that they would have holy children and protect that spiritual unity. Don’t cheat on your wife. She has been your wife from the time you were young.” The first man to have more than one wife in the Bible is Lameck according to Genesis 4:19-24. We are told that he was a wicked man. Now, you can fully give yourself in love only to one person. Between lovers, no one can tolerate rivals just as God cannot tolerate it with His people according to Exodus 20:5, which says, “Don’t worship or serve idols of any kind, because I, the LORD, am your God. I hate my people worshiping other gods. People who sin against me become my enemies, and I will punish them. And I will punish their children, their grandchildren, and even their great-grandchildren.”
There is no room for the second person in a man’s or woman’s heart. Marriage is the most important relationship on earth between two people. This relationship is likened to the relationship between Christ and the church according to Ephesians 5:24-32. As God loves His people, so should a husband love his wife. As the church gives herself to Christ, so should the wife give herself to her husband.
We have learned that one of the purposes of marriage was for a man to have a companion. That is a friend who is his equal. What that means is that the woman should be suitable for the husband. Husband and wife should be friends. The two become one flesh. No other human relationship should supersede that of husband and wife. So strive for oneness with your spouse. If you need coaching on relationship issues you can contact me here.
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