Safari – Night with the Hyenas

With the first walking game drive under our belt and beer in hand we feel satisfied with our exercise exertion, and confident in our animal spotting ability. We drive off the ridge to the other side of the swamp, animal spotting along the way. More of the same. Never thought I would see so many of everything. Zebras are pronounced ‘ZAE-brah’ by some of the guides… and Lauren and I found it more interesting to adopt this pronunciation as we do our best Steve Irwin broadcasting impersonations from the top seats of the jeep.

You would think it’s the opening scene of Lion King, the way all the animals gather at the water. At this point, we get very excited to see something new. So after stopping to look at a monkey, we had the special treat of watching an elephant take a bath. And we are still unable to confirm if thats a 5th leg or if he was just happy to see us.

We are on the way to our campsite for the night and unintentionally come across a swarm of tour trucks all excited staring at a bush. A woman in a nearby truck says to us “Como se dice Leopard?”. It was a cheetah but we appreciated the effort. Cinda however still swears it was a leopard. Anyone know of a good cataract surgeon?

Since her animal spotting was “unparalleled” we put her up in the top seat. And Lauren takes the front seat to spot more Hippos. We stop the car for a giraffe that is about to cross the road. Cinda, completely oblivious to his presence is about eye to eye with the guy. She’s staring off into space or doing whatever it is Cinda does when we hear her scream in surprise when she sees him. I know I’m giving Cinda a hard time, but I think the giraffe would have had to stick his head through the sunroof before Nick noticed him. These two… Thank goodness we had Mika and Fredy to help us out.

We make a quick pit stop to stretch our legs at a famous Boabab tree in Tarangire Park. “Poachers Hide” is famous for being an older tree that has naturally hollowed out over time. Poachers have famously hid inside the trunk, housing around 15-20 bunk beds, in order to hide from Rangers. These poachers are the reason we no longer see Rhino in Tarangire. Their tusks are so sought after, that every time a group of rhino are transplanted into the park to try to replenish the population, they are poached. Even with a 24/7 ranger watch assigned to them they are not safe. Click here to learn more: https://fightforrhinos.com/tag/tanzania/.

When we get out of the car to check out the tree, I ask Mika, “How do you say ‘swamp-ass’ in Swahili?”. For those delicate flowers reading this post, who are not yet familiar with this term: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=swamp%20ass. I had to give the background explanation to Mika before he explained there is no direct translation but the best he could do was “Mytako eme ca cama feregui” which literally translates to “my ass is like a creek”. Attractive. (We really shocked some of our bartenders later down the road with that one…talk about a pick up line!)

The campsite for tonight reminds us of Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Massive Boabab trees sprinkle a field we are in, making for a stunning sunset silhouette. Nick jokes we could stay in the Disney Animal Kingdom Tree of Life (plastic boabab tree) for the bargain price of $500.

Desperate for a shower after hiking through the grass strewn with mites and critters, we jockey for a place in the shower queue. I take second slot but warn them I’m taking the whole bag. Oh yeah, if we haven’t explained before, our shower is a bag of water, warmed by solar rays, hung on a tree branch into a tarp stall with rubber mat bottom. That being said, no complaints as it’s a shower head hose, warm water, and a beautiful view of trees above. How many times do you have to dodge a giraffe on your way to a shower?

Wine was flowing as it is our last night in camp. We warn Mika we would drink copious amounts of wine and he definitely did his best to make sure we didn’t do without. He planned well because while no wine went wasted, we felt satiated. We soaked in our last Tarangire sunset and stars with good conversation and laughs around the fire.

I go to get ready for bed which means walking away from the fire and tents to our “bathroom”. Mika told us to shine the perimeter for lights anytime walking through camp. My worst fear comes true. Eyes. Yellow eyes directly in front of me. I’m about halfway to the bathroom tent, 10 yards from the bathroom, 10 yards behind me is our bedroom tent, and 30 yards behind me is my family and Mika at the fire. I stick to Rule #1: don’t run. Well shit, now what. Having a staring contest with a set of eyes, armed only with the flashlight on my iPhone. So I do what any female would do in my position, yell for the guy with rifle.

• Me: “MIKA!! I see EYES!!”
• Mika: “Are they high or low?”
• Me: “They are low”…”SHIT, he’s moving closer”
• Hears lots of running footsteps behind me. Mika now next to me shines flashlight on eyes.
• Mika: “Oh that’s a Spotted Hyena…oh, he’s curious”

Facts about Spotted Hyena:

• weigh up to 114 lbs
• Run around 40 mph
• Strong jaws that chew every part of their prey, including bones, hence the white poop. (told you, we are now poop experts)

Yeah I’m not trying to mess with a hyena. They also found out why they are also called the “laughing hyena”. They are pack animals that communicate with yells and whoops to alert fellow pack members of food or prey. SO if you’re laying in your cot, trying to get the image of yellow eyes out of you mind…the last thing you want to hear is the cacophony of hyenas laughing on the other side of your tent. Oh great, now we hear lions. Wildebeest too?! No wait, that’s just Dad snoring. Poor Mom, she’s probably listening to the same Animal Kingdom chorus I am, nervous about their proximity to our tent with no way to stifle Dad’s snoring. With the incredibly vivid dreams that accompany Malaria meds, its hard to decipher reality from dreams. Did I dream the pack of hyenas right inside our camp? Did I dream hearing running feet and our crew chasing them away time after time?

Lauren and I wake up and she confirms she heard it too. We get the full story from Gideon at breakfast…

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