As a general rule for myself & this blog I try not to do really obscure movies because I feel like people only like to read/click on things they have seen/heard of, but maybe this one is just for me.
This is a movie I got on a whim from the library because I was interested to see if Bella Thorne could act (she can kind of?) and I love Mae Whitman (she can definitely!). I almost returned without watching but renewed instead (there’s some metaphor about life in that somewhere!!!) and just watched right now.
I loved this movie. And not in an ironic, ‘it’s so bad it’s good’ way, in a very genuine real way. The script is the best thing about it, it’s based on a book, and either the screen adapter person is incredible or the author did it and the book is really good too. I don’t even want to read the book though because I feel like I got it and I really liked the vehicle it was in and I liked the vehicle more than the ideas maybe?
Like ok, yes, there were some profound things in it but I didn’t feel I was connecting on a deep reverent “Art” level but something about this felt deeply personal to me and I loved it a lot and I DID cry and that’s fine but what’s weird is I feel bad now? Normally after watching a movie I really like I get a feeling of satisfaction but I kind of just feel empty and sad and I think it’s cause it was too real????? I’m also just in a place and very vulnerable to emotions right now.
This movie centers around the concept of one word/acronym, that also was a huge devastating blow to me when I found out about it- there are some words that truly are a terrible discovery because it means there’s this concept people are naming and calling out and aware of for this terrible feeling you thought was a secret that no one knew, and it makes you feel like ‘society’ is just a place that has categorizations and judgements for things that correlate with value and this is an example of where you fall short/fail. FUPA is an example of this. DUFF, the title of the movie, is also one. (Why are they always acronyms?)
DUFF stands for ‘Designated Ugly Fat Friend’ and it is used to describe a person (usually girl but the movie is very deliberate to point out it is gender neutral/can be used on anyone) who is less attractive than their group of friends who people trying to fuck the hot friends use to get to them. That’s probably too many ambiguous pronouns for one sentence (what is this German???) but you get it.
Learning what this word was in high school (and early college!) DEVASTATED me because I was like, “is that all I am to people??” and this movie is ENTIRELY that journey. Except, during this journey, the main character is actually very pretty and is best friends with the hottest guy in school and he’s helping her and they fall in love and they end up together. Oooh I think I just figured out why I feel terrible!
The whole point of this movie is to dispel that concept and say, “Labels are meaningless! Just be yourself!” which I agree with, but it kind of makes it hard to believe that when the narrative of the story uses things that align with societal values to validate an idea saying societal values are meaningless? Does that makes sense?
Like, ok. I shaved my head a few months ago. I did it to be ugly honestly. Because I wanted to get rid of the security blanket that hair is for me and just face my insecurities of being seen as ugly or unfeminine or undesirable, and I didn’t want to worry about what I looked like all the time and I thought if I just took it out of my own hands and looked ‘bad’ (by my own estimation) there would HAVE to come a time during the long growing out process when I just truly couldn’t worry/care anymore and I would be set free.
Then when I shaved my head people LOVED it and told me I was beautiful (which was tight as hell) BUT in my mind I kind of thought then that I would never experience the other, (then God was like NUH UH BITCH) because I moved and now it’s growing out and doing a weird goth Florence Henderson thing and I am having to meet all these people when I feel ugly and like a French boy going through puberty and it’s testing me!!!
During this time, I certainly don’t have the hottest guy in school (what is the New York comedy scene equivalent of that??? Conan O’Brien??) validating me, and that’s difficult. I’ve almost never had a guy (let alone the hottest one!!!) validating me and I forgot that that can be great too though. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that experience in a movie where someone’s just validating themselves for the whole thing? (It doesn’t count if it’s a weird false empowerment thing for one scene, OR only in the beginning of the movie as a means of attracting the guy she ends up being with).
Part of me doesn’t want to post this because I aM meeting all these new people and this goes directly against the whole ‘sexy fun carefree!!!’ vibe I think I’m supposed to be committing to but I feel like my hair is already letting people in on that lil secret
