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The Pile Of Stuff At The Bottom Of The Stairs (2011)

by Christina Hopkinson(Favorite Author)

2.92 of 5 Votes: 2

ISBN

1444710397 (ISBN13: 9781444710397)

languge

English

genre

Humor

publisher

Hodder & Stoughton

review 1: I saw this novel in a book shop about 2 years ago but refused to pay $25 for it so decided to look for it online instead. It clearly slipped my mind until I saw it in a discount book shop, everything $3, in the city last week. The catchy title caught my eye and I recalled it was something I wanted to read. After having just read 'The Invention of Wings' by Sue Monk Kidd, a fiction based on fact novel about slavery in the 1800’s, I was in need of something light and fluffy next. This novel is written from the perspective of Mary; married, 2 children and working part time in a TV production company. Mary, like many professional women, has to juggle her domestic responsibilities with her ‘paid’ work ones, as well as spend quality time with her children and organise the ... moresocial events that her family participates in. And like many women, Mary also has to deal with her husband’s sloppiness around the house. His inability to put tea bags in the bin, to put clothes in the laundry basket instead of on the floor next to the laundry basket, hang up wet towels, wipe benches after meals, and so on and so on. The pile of stuff that builds up at the bottom of the stairs becomes so great that one of their children trips over it and cuts their knee!Over time Mary has become incredibly angry and somewhat resentful towards her husband for not noticing that she clearly does more than the lion’s share of the house work and childcare, even though she only works one day less a week than Joel. So infuriated she becomes, that a list detailing his misdemeanours is complied. A list, no, an excel spreadsheet of epic proportions that has debits and credits for each month and different categories of behaviour, yes. She decides that he has 6 months to prove himself… and if he has acquired the set number of debits by the dates end, then she will divorce him. She of course does this in absolute secrecy; Joel has no idea that his behaviour is being judged and scored on a daily basis. Mary confides in one friend only about ‘The List’, her best friend Becky, who is gay, in a relationship and contemplating whether having children is something she wants in life. Mary also constantly compares herself to a friend, Mitzi, who seemingly has a perfect life. Mary bases this on the cleanliness of her house and children, but over time, discovers she has made certain sacrifices in her marriage and her perfect life is far from it. The story plays out over the 6 months and we learn more about the central character and what makes her tick, who she was before children and who she wants to be in the future. I quite enjoyed the conclusion as we finally get to see things from Joel’s perspective. This novel really resonated with me as I am a new mum and have lived with a messy man for over 6 years. My husband is truly wonderful; romantic, funny, thoughtful, caring, an amazing father to our 4 month old son, but cannot figure out how to ‘stow as you go’ (My annoying catch phrase for putting things away after you are done with them... sounds simply hey?). As I sit here and write this, there is a bucket of dirty mop water sitting in the bathroom where the mopping reached its final destination. Fantastic that he mopped all the floors… but why did he leave the mop and bucket in the bathroom for a day and a half before moving it? Sometimes I just leave these things where they are and see how long it takes for him to realise they need to be moved, emptied, put away, and other times I just do it straight away rather than staring at it and getting angry! It frustrates me to no end, but is it really a big deal? In the grand scheme of things would I prefer a husband that is messy over one who treats me badly or is unkind, but is super clean? Never. We all have our faults, quirks, idiosyncrasies… I am sure he could name a few of mine, but they are certainly not deal breakers. However, I understand how it came to a boiling point for Mary. Being a parent is constant a tiring, working is constant and tiring, so being at home should be somewhat relaxing… if you share domestic duties and respect one another. It was not this way for our protagonist. Her frustration and anger also stemmed from how her life had changed since they became parents. She absolutely adores her 2 boys, but as all parents know, you sacrifice things in order to be a parent you are proud of. Finding the balance is hard and again can only be done in conjunction with your partner. This is where my husband deserves a big shiny gold star. When he is home from work, on weekends and school holidays, he looks after Raff while I can go out shopping, to yoga or to catch up with a friend if I want. But it is reciprocated. I take Raff out for a walk, or to Mother’s Group so he can have some time on his PlayStation (his version of ‘going out’), or time work in the garden. The difference between my situation and Mary and Joel’s at the beginning of the novel is communication. It is certainly the key to a happy marriage, and a happy and agreeable mode of parenting. 'The Pile of Stuff at the Bottom of the Stairs', is a light and entertaining read with some serious undertones about gender equality in the domestic, professional and parenting realms.
review 2: Insightful, all couples should be encouraged to write a list and strategically plan their next move. Enjoyed every minute of it, although I was sure I wouldn't cause there is nothing I hate about my Husband. Very entertaining. And I loved, and to quote, "who knew that marriage was such hard work, that it would need a business plan, strategies and action points? That it would need daily gratitude, weekly sex and monthly board meetings? That we would sit with our diaries every Sunday evening to workout who was picking up each child to take where, who could work and get up late, whose hobby took precedence? That it would take a trained Mediator, a sort of marital management consultant,to hand redundancy notices to all the inequality and resentment, and to recruit goodwill and cooperation? But there it is on the fridge, our very own little declaration of co-dependence. And A3 List." less

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