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Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love And Intimacy Alive In Committed Relationships (1997)

by David Schnarch(Favorite Author)
4.12 of 5 Votes: 1
ISBN
0393334279 (ISBN13: 9780393334272)
languge
English
genre
publisher
W. W. Norton & Company
review 1: I LOVE THIS BOOK! Schnarch’s thesis can be condensed into the following quote, “Trusting me isn’t going to change you; trusting (and mobilizing) yourself will. The endpoint of differentiation is being willing and able to trust yourself” What is so fantastic about Schnarch theory is that its application is not limited to the context of marriage; but any intimate relationship. The process of differentiation is a journey of discovering oneself and can only occur in the context of close relationships. He reminds us that differentiation is not a behavior that we adopt; it is a process of becoming more fully oneself while tolerating closeness and maintaining relationship with other. This book is a layman's version of his more weighty work, "The Sexual Crucible". As a ... morefuture therapist, this is the modality that resonates as the healthiest approach to helping people look to intimacy as a context for growth rather than a other-validated unit that leads only to disillusionment and disappointment (We never get the acceptance and validation we are seeking from the other....we can only provide it for ourselves). Schnarch calls it holding onto oneself while tolerating closeness with another. There is so much depth and so many 'aha moments while reading this work, its one I know I will return to over and over as I move forward into practice.
review 2: I enjoyed this book about how to improve one's marriage. The book concentrates on intimacy, and as a result is explicit at times. Not in a gratuitous way, but without any compunction either. I enjoyed that the book really concentrated well on changing one's mindset from "how can I change this about my partner and marriage?" to "how can I think differently, or change myself to improve how I'm feeling?". Good tips and solid advice throughout. less
Reviews (see all)
Chels127
I really like David Schnarch's books. I think he has a lot of insight.
chitminoo
Incredible, awesome. This book is changing my marriage.
tin
must-read for couples.
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