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Immortal War (2011)

by Justin Somper(Favorite Author)

4.27 of 5 Votes: 1

ISBN

1416916547 (ISBN13: 9781416916543)

languge

English

genre

Romance

publisher

Simon & Schuster UK Ltd

series

Vampirates

review 1: Okay I gave this a three because there were too many loose ends at the end. I was disappointed. Lola still poses a threat and honestly it bugs me that Grace has a child to care for that wasn't mentioned in the last pages. I NEED to know what happens to Hunter as well. He seemed like the best baby of the two yet he is still in a horrible position. Maybe it is the mother in me but I need to know that the baby is safe with the good guys. Also I needed more characters to have a happy ending. I cried at the end of the book. It tore my heart out. BUT I NEED TO KOW WHAT HAPPENS. I really hope he writes another.
review 2: Holy shit. These books are awful. The only reason I kept reading to book six was because I just could not believe that a series could get that bad. I... more was wrong. So very, very wrong.I actually liked the first two books. They were alright. Twins Connor and Grace set out in a ship and get lost in a storm. Grace is saved by the Vampirates, a group of peaceful Vampires that live on a boat, and Connor becomes a Pirate. Later they find out that they themselves are Vampirates, and the inner turmoil begins. Okay, cool. I'm fine with that. But by the third book, thing start to go downhill.These books have a lot of problems. The biggest one, in my opinion, is their idea of a Pirate. In this book, a Pirate is a person who goes to the Federation's Pirate academy, stays there for ten years to learn the way of Piracy through books and lessons and power-point presentations, and then they are given a license and go about Pirating on their designated sea-lanes, following rules and being a good, law-abiding Pirate.This is such utter bullshit. The Federation is one of the most foolish things I have ever heard of. Piracy is not something that can be learned from sitting behind a desk with organized little lessons. It must be lived, breathed, discovered like uncharted territory and mapped out with experience. The idea of placing rules and regulations on Piracy itself is a complete and utter farce. It’s akin to placing a leash on a wild animal and calling it a pet. You cannot control Piracy. Piracy controls you. And all Pirates embark to the seas for one thing.Romance. The romance of exploring the vast high seas, sailing through booming thunder and lightning storms, drenched with stinging rain and laughing at the heavens, discovering fascinating new lands and people, acquiring mountains of glittering gold and sparkling jewels, battling with bitter enemies and rivals, all the while backed up by your faithful crew who stick with you through thick and thin. That, people, is Piracy. Not the cruel mockery that is the Federation. Do not speak to me of the definition of Piracy. Go read One Piece and learn it for yourself.The only true Pirate in the entire series is Molucco, the Pirate that saves Connor from the storm and takes him under his wing. He doesn’t listen to anyone's rules, Federation or otherwise, he shatters the chains attempting to hold him back and does whatever the fuck he wants. He attacks who he wants, takes what he wants, and parties when he wants, all with a merry laugh and mischievous gleam in his eye. THAT is a Pirate, and THAT is what a Pirate does.Another huge, glaring problem with the series is the setting. The date set for these books - about year 2500 - makes absolutely no sense and doesn’t seem to fit at all. 2500 is centuries in the future, yet where is all the technology, all the cities, all the people? Why does it seem like the book should be set a thousand years in the PAST? There are no cell-phones, no computers, NOTHING electronic to suggest this is anywhere in the second millennium. The weaponry is primitive at best, only swords and muskets, no actual 9mm or bazooka’s or bombs or anything. Perhaps this is after a great war or devastation or something and there is no such thing as technology now, but it is never mentioned or explained at all, which just serves to confuse me even more. IT MAKES NO SENSE!!Another problem is the characters themselves. They start out fine, morally-responsible people with good intentions. But by the third or fourth book, EVERYONE IS AN ASSHOLE. There are NO good role-models in this series. Everyone is horrible, treats others horribly, and have no qualms about any of the bad things they do. These characters have no soul, and therefore, are not characters at all. I lost all respect for them with every action they took.Let's start with Connor. Connor, to be blunt, is an asshole. He is supposed to be 14, nothing more than a meer child, and yet most of the time he acts more like he is 18. He lies and cheats. He goes behind his BEST friend’s back and makes a move on his girlfriend, stealing her away behind his back and doesn’t even have the balls to TELL the poor boy, hiding everything. He lies to his companions about his blood-drinking habit and continues to suck poor victims dry, feeling no remorse for his actions. A 14 year old should be more interested in farts and yanking on his dick than doing such despicable things. I could not believe some of the things that Connor did, and found myself incredibly disgusted by this loathsome boy. Grace's descent into being a horrible character takes a bit longer than her twin brother. 14 as well, she too acts many years older. She quickly falls in love with Lorcan, a Vampirate, but is in no means loyal to him. When she goes to visit her evil father and stepmother, she immediately leaps upon Johnny, another Vampirate, and has quite a romp with him. Even when she returns to her senses and goes back to Lorcan's side, she then HEALS JOHNNY’S WOUNDS when he’s found, about to die, and HELPS HIM ESCAPE. Doesn’t this girl realize that he is a Vampirate MURDERER who is going to KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE, most importantly HER FRIENDS? They are at war with these fiends, and she HELPS HIM! The moment I lost all respect for her is when she did the most horrible thing ever to her best friend, Darcy. Darcy is wonderful, a Vampirate flapper-girl who is strong, smart, and sweet. Grace traps her in a room with Stukeley, one of the bad Vampirates who once loved her and who has been absolutely terrible to her, which is just plain CRUEL. Luckily Darcy has some actual pluck and brushes him off. Darcy is the only person I respect in this series.Another disgusting character is Cheng Li. Again, to put it bluntly, Cheng Li is a conniving bitch. I think I despised her the most out of everyone. Not only does she sign up on Molluco’s crew in order to SPY on him for the Federation, but she later rubs his shortcomings in his face and uses this fact to convince Connor into leaving his crew and joining her own, thereby stealing him away. She then immediately chooses the lamest name possible (The Tiger) for her ship and sails away, laughing evilly. I seriously don’t understand how Connor has any loyalty toward her, seeing as she almost got him killed by having his best friend, Jacoby, try and kill him in a public demonstration of sword fighting, as well as keep the secret of his birth from him until the last minute to better manipulate the boy. She also convinces Grace that the only way to return to the Vampirate vessel is to try and KILL herself. Then, when the attempt is botched and Grace questioned, Cheng Li totally denies any involvement and acts like she is completely innocent. NOT ONLY THAT, but she also goes out of her way to flirt and try to get with Grace’s KNOWN boyfriend, Lorcan, simply because he makes her triangle tingle. I have absolutely no respect for this horrible woman and cheered like crazy when she finally died. Another problem with the series is that I find everything with the Vampirates and their ‘donors’ extremely sexual. They sit down, have dinner with each other, then retire to their bedrooms where they fu- I mean…SHARE, as they call it. I found all this incredibly sexual and quite weird, especially with Lorcan and Oskar, considering they’re both male. Very homo-erotic. It just makes it that much weirder when Oskar tries to get Grace to ‘share’ along with Lorcan, forming a sort of three-way between them. Also, how on earth are the Vampirates supposed to feed from the thorax instead of the neck? I mean, physically, how is it possible? You can’t open your mouth that wide, can you? What are they, snakes? Do they unhinge their jaws? How do they bite something that is nearly flat? A neck just seems so much more convenient to bite, no matter how cliché. Yet another thing that bothers me is that almost every single female in the series is stunningly beautiful. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Can’t we have at least one average-looking girl in the series, please? I’m getting real tired of each girl being praised for her looks and described down to the barest detail of her eyelashes.These books seem to not take themselves seriously. At all. I mean, Sidorio’s evil army of Vampirates is raging up the coast, destroying entire villages every single night, sucking dry hundreds of people, and what does anyone do about it? NOTHING. They let him be for weeks, months, before even TRYING to mount an attack. There is also the fact that Connor and friends perform cruel experiments on the Vampirates to figure out how to kill them, which no-one really questions or feels any guilt for. Where is the confliction, the inner turmoil?? Everyone is a paper-thin, two-dimensional persons with no feelings. It’s ridiculous.Don't waste your time of these books. Though the first few seem quite promising, it quickly dissolves into brackish salt water, leaving a terrible taste in your mouth. You want a merry Pirate tale to dazzle your imagination and warm your heart? Go read One Piece, and discover what a true Pirate is. less

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