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Peaceful Parent, Happy Kid (2000)

by Laura Markham(Favorite Author)

4.29 of 5 Votes: 4

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English

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review 1: I read this for book club and I'm so glad I did. It's a GREAT book that is so good if you want to connect with your children and inspire them to follow you instead of force them into submission. It was so good for me. What I liked most was that it gave me some really good ideas for what she calls "emotion coaching." My three older kids are emotional by nature and there is so much in the book that can help kids with dealing with anxiety and scary feelings. As with all parenting books this might not work for you. It works for me and that's what I needed.Also, as with all parenting books I don't agree 100%. She did talk a lot about "setting limits," but she said to NEVER punish. I found that a bit hard to swallow. The jury is still out. :) But, what is awesome about... more parenting books is taking what you love and leaving the rest. The only thing that I really didn't like is when she gave her vignettes on stories of children and their parents. I know these were supposed to be helpful but she used terms like, "our lucky baby" to refer to a child who had been parented with this style. As if kids who didn't have parents who followed this parenting were VERY unlucky. :) Not to mention that OF COURSE the children behaved EXACTLY as they were supposed to. :)After finishing the book I find myself slipping up on some of the areas I want to improve in. So, I need to buy a copy and read it again. :)
review 2: This is a fantastic book! If you are a busy parent and have time for only one book, this is the one to read (of course, I'd recommend many others as well). Warning: If your kids are a bit older, the book might make you feel like what you did in the past was wrong. However, Dr. Markham does her best (and largely succeeds, I think) at avoiding language that places blame or induces guilt. It is never too late for a course correction. Dr. Markham writes clearly and provides real advice for parents. More importantly, her advice is good and grounded in parenting research. It is not anecdotal or based on what "feels right." In fact, at some points, you might "feel" strongly that she is wrong or that her advice is bad. I did. Keep reading the book anyway and give it a shot. You'll be happy that you did. What is more important anyway? How you feel or whether you are doing the right things to raise a happy, resilient, successful human being?Most of the parenting books out there can be categorized in two ways: (1) Books that reject the dominant behavioral discipline approach of punishments, time-outs, rewards, and sticker charts but then give little to no hands-on advice at all (e.g. Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn) or (2) they give terrible advice that is rooted in behavioral psychology (e.g., Temper Your Child's Tantrums: How Firm, Loving Discipline Will Lead to a More Peaceful Home by James Dobson). It is rare to find a book so rooted in current scientific research that is also practical and accessible. Dr. Markham is a rich blessing to parents! less

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