Bro, Don’t Be Like Yoo Si Jin

Hey. I am not sure how often a guy reads an article written by a girl but let me give this a try. I am also not sure how you ended up here but I hope you’ll stay until the end. I want to tell you about someone who has the most expressive eyes, angelic looks, manly stance, and outstanding skills that will make a girl feel safe and secured when around him. His sense of humor and bravery make him even more charming. He is a man of his word and is persistent in his pursuit of the girl that he likes. I am talking about “Big Boss” Yoo Si Jin, the male lead character of Descendants of the Sun, a popular Korean Drama series. Maybe you (secretly) know him. Maybe you don’t.

I wonder if the description you’ve read above made you feel a bit insecure. At the back of your head, you’re thinking that you fall a little too short from that kind of man most girls are hoping for. Perhaps you’re not as good-looking, or as athletic, or as brave. But here’s something to lift your spirits up. I’m not here to impose his characteristics on you. I’m trying to do otherwise. You don’t have to be like Yoo Si Jin because one, he isn’t real. You are. That in itself gives you an advantage over a made-up character.

You might be aware of the current trend of girls going crazy over “oppas” or even just the local celebrities. This fan-girling thing made me realize that people are all after the ideal — the ideal career, the ideal friend, the ideal family, the ideal partner. People gush over celebrities or fictional characters because they consider them perfect – or not. Sometimes, we are so into people because they have either exceeded our expectations or our fantasies and reality meet in the middle just right. Sometimes, a job, a friend, or a partner doesn’t have to be ideal to be worth loving. Sometimes, they just have to be real.

Sometimes, one doesn’t have to be the ideal. It just has to be real.

This is why you don’t have to be like Yoo Si Jin. You can choose to be authentic in front of people, not just in front of the girl you’re attracted to. You may not have Si Jin’s looks or his fighting skills, but if you have the courage to showcase your true self and not hide behind fake efforts, that will already make you miles ahead of him. Si Jin had to lie many times to Kang Mo Yeon, his love interest, just so she wouldn’t worry about him. He had to lie because it was part of their policy as soldiers in the Special Forces. He had to lie to protect Mo Yeon. And maybe he also had to lie to protect his dignity. How about you? What keeps you from exposing who you really are to the girl that you’re pursuing? Is it your ego? Is it your past? Are you afraid to hear what she would say about your weirdness and weaknesses? Your fears and your flaws? Would you choose truth and authenticity no matter how painful and ugly it looks to you or to the other person? I pray that you would choose to be real.

Si Jin as a soldier lived by his rule of protecting beautiful women, children, and the elderly. He would risk his position and his life for them. However, while he was brave enough to fight for the people around him, he seemed to have forgotten something. He didn’t realize that protecting women did not just mean protecting them from bullies or bullets, but also from emotional booby traps. Si Jin crossed the line when he kissed Mo Yeon after “hesitating for thousands of times”. They didn’t even have a relationship yet.  While the scene brought kilig feels to the viewers, it didn’t make the act right. A real man does not take advantage of a woman’s vulnerability. He protects it.

A real man doesn’t just protect a woman from physical danger but also from emotional damage. He doesn’t take advantage of her vulnerability but he chooses to protect it.

The problem with Yoo Si Jin was not that he failed to keep his rule. What he failed to do was to live for someone greater than himself and the people that he swore to protect. The thing is, if you’re only living for yourself, you would do things that would only benefit YOU most of the time, and not the other people around you. If you’re only living for yourself, it would be easy to give in to your desires for gratification. But if you’re living for someone greater than yourself, that is Christ, you will be compelled to do the right thing, even if it meant dying to your selfish cravings and lustful thoughts. Sometimes, it takes death to be able to truly live (Philippians 1:21). The question is, are you willing to die to yourself to protect and uphold the purity of the women around you? Are you willing to die to yourself to honor God in your thoughts, words, and actions? Who are you really living for?

If you’re living for someone greater than yourself, that is Christ, you will be compelled to do the right thing, even if it meant dying to your selfish cravings and lustful thoughts. Sometimes, it takes death to be able to truly live.

This time, let me tell you about another man who fought for love 2000 years ago. For the world that He chose to die for, He wasn’t the ideal King and Ruler that the people were expecting. He was questioned, mocked, ridiculed, and betrayed. His task was unimaginable but He fulfilled what He’s been sent to do anyway. He wasn’t a military man but a carpenter’s son. He didn’t carry any weapon, He just carried a cross. He wasn’t just brave, He was obedient even to the point of death (Philippians 2:8). He didn’t die to protect the children, the beautiful women, and the elderly, He died to save them from their sins; He died to give them life. This man died for the world, He died for you. Long before you began wanting someone to love you and care for you, He already has. I’m talking about Jesus, the standard of perfect love because He is Love Himself. I hope you will find yourself in Him before you find yourself in a romantic relationship. Let Him be after your heart before you chase after another’s. Let Him teach you how to love without malice, and without condition. And before you decide to pursue a woman, I hope you could prayerfully seek and ask God about it first. I hope you won’t act upon your heart’s nudges but you will respond to God’s leading instead. While you’re on it, ask yourself these questions: “Have I experienced true love that I’ll be able to express it to others?” “Can I love this woman the way Jesus loves me?” “Can I treat her with absolute purity in my intentions, words, and actions?” “Am I willing to die to myself to protect this woman’s worth?” 

Long before you began wanting someone to love you and care for you, Jesus already has.

To end, being like Yoo Si Jin or any other person is not the point of this life. Being in a relationship is not the point either but being like Jesus is. So, bro, don’t be like Yoo Si Jin. Be like Jesus.

Don’t be like Yoo Si Jin. Be like Jesus.

With love and grace,

• Tweet