Good morning, constituents, and due to the current Maynia for the word May in every fucking sentence in this election, I have decided to fight back. With a May!
It was when I heard Theresa May and her May Team yesterday launching their Maynifesto for the Maynstream in May, which the Daily Mayl today thinks is aMayzing, that I decided to contact King Badger Brian May.
Mayke it quick, he said, since it was late and he’d just woken up hungry for a handful of earthworms.
Bri, I replied, are you in?
What? he said.
I was disMayed. It was too quick. I needed to expand.
Theresa’s a Mayniac, I said. The Daily Mayl are going to win her the election. It’s bad for badgers.
I’m in, he shouted. Got to forage.
And that was it. He put down the phone and scurried away to the sound of a cat-flap flapping.
Today Cathy at HQ is contacting Richard Maydeley and Simon Mayo, with former ReMayn heavyweight and David Cameron political advisor June Sarpong pencilled in for next month.
This campMayign is now Maynstream.
It’s May a May pleasure May to May be Tomatoes your May candidate. Mayhem.
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