Trying to organize and make sense of this phase is actually more difficult than part one. That’s been surprising. I could have written twice as much and still left things out. This story is long and I realize that most of Y’all have no interest in this, so tomorrow we go back to our normal programming.
For those that do care, thank you.
The otter and me. . .sharing a look.
One of my readers commented about how many people often use social media to make their lives appear better than they actually are and it was refreshing to share someone’s struggles. I use social media as my platform to expand the readership of my blog. Clicking through to the blog will always give you a better reading experience as you share the look out of my window.
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Upon coming back to SC, I didn’t think it would take much time to find a good opportunity somewhere in funeral service as I had reasonable street cred, had a good handle on the problems facing funeral service and a track record of solving those problems. I quickly was reminded that funeral service is changing about as fast the taxi industry and heading in the same direction. Additionally, most of my contacts in the business were retired or in situations where they did not have the influence they may have had 5-10 years ago. The older men and women, the ones with experience, were gone long before their 65th birthday. (See article in Pt. 1)
After a career where I didn’t have to look for jobs because they had always found me, I was in a position where I couldn’t get hiring authorities to take or return my calls. Early on, I was applying for positions with job descriptions that seemed to be written for me, yet not even the courtesy of a phone call. Was it me or just my age?
After a long career of being on the forefront of my chosen field, I was now being ignored and viewed as a dinosaur. Internally, I refused to acknowledge that possibility.
Growing weary of closing doors and telephones, I started to look outside of funeral service, figuring my management, marketing, problem-solving and communication skills would shine through and I’d get picked up by someone, forthwith.
Not a snowballs chance in hell, even after I retained “experts” to help me reframe my experience in a resume that was no longer limited to funeral service. As I went from one to another, they contradicted each other and ridiculed the previous work done on my behalf. None bore results and it wasn’t until the end of my search that I identified someone who didn’t try to pigeonhole me in their idea of what I should be.
I also learned about a process that irritated me and may have held me back. That process dealt with being able to provide canned answers to interview questions, (asked by young recruiters who had no experience in what they were interviewing for) regardless of whether your answers were truthful or not. Many of the recruiters I spoke with didn’t care about my experience and expertise, but how I answered their list of questions. Here are two of my favorites:
“Tell me about a problem you encountered in the workplace and how you solved it?”
“Miss, I was a funeral director and a firefighter for over thirty years. At one point, I owned three businesses with annual revenues in excess of five million dollars. Every day I was called on to solve numerous problems in multiple situations. Solving problems is what I did, not something that popped up so rarely that I would remember it.”
Then there was this exchange:
“If we were to call your former employers, would they tell us that you had more or less unexcused absences than your co-workers?”
“Really?” was my response.
“Yes, really”.
“Well, I am 57 and have always had some type of job since I was fourteen and I have never had an unexcused absence, so if they were willing to answer that question, which I doubt very much they would, the answer would be less”. After a few more similar questions, she announced that I was overqualified for any positions they had open and ended the interview. I quickly came to understand that “overqualified” was HR code for “you are too old, you won’t fit in, and/or we will probably have to pay you too much to come here.”
I wasn’t playing the game well. . . and a game it was.
I took an online workshop for older folks getting back in the workforce. The course was free and the take away was that if I had grey hair, it would be a good idea to have it dyed and maybe get a modern cut to fit in better for an interview. . . of course, if I spent over $200 for their books, I would have an executive position nailed down in no time at all. That irritated me.
People who I thought were friends grew tired of my need to talk things through and avoided me. There were others who came forth and helped as no other could. I started calling business people I knew and invited them to coffee/lunch with the hope of maybe getting that one contact that would lead to success. When I met with them they alluded to the same thing, “You can’t find a job? that’s ridiculous.”
I even looked at several franchises and came close to buying one and I thank God a trusted advisor talked me out of that at the 11th hour. It would have been a foolish financial decision, but I was getting desperate. I was applying for jobs that paid a quarter of what I had been earning and many employers passed up a chance of a getting a lot more for their money.
The world of HR and applying for jobs is high tech and several computer algorithms scan your resume and information from the online application for keywords/dates before (if) it ever gets in front of a real person.
One of the most frustrating aspects of the process was applying for a position, but not having any way to follow-up or to even know if I was being considered. I still receive an e-mail or two each week that is the first acknowledgment I received regarding jobs I applied for 5-6 months ago, some saying that the position was eliminated and some stating that “after careful consideration, we have selected another candidate.” How do these companies operate if the HR dept. is taking half a year or more to reply to applicants?
I have been humbled. I have described these months as going through the desert and almost losing all hope. Without wanting to sound dramatic, the thought of suicide wafted around in my mind. as I was letting my family down and it was only getting worse . . then a friend, not knowing the depth of my situation, invited me to meet some people from State government for a possible job opportunity. . . at a suicide prevention workshop. That had to be a “God Thing.” I’ve watched my wife work two part-time jobs while I continued my search and took over many of the household chores. We’ve burned through our non-qualified savings and have learned to get by with less. If anyone had told me that we would experience a year like this, I would have laughed at them.
I could go on for hours but I’ll end it with the fact that after seven months of daily searching, a career that I never considered, found me and after thoughtful consideration, I came to realize that it was the perfect opportunity for me at this point of my life.
I am now working with the Knights of Columbus as a field agent for the CSRA/Midlands of South Carolina. I have been a Knight since 1980 and now I can use my accumulated, life experiences to help my brother knights protect their families and prepare for their future. I have the flexibility of working from my home and I’ll be doing something I really believe in. The compensation is what I expected when I began my search and it will be the first job that I’ve ever had that has a pension!
So for those of you that read this to the end, now you know the story. Thanks for reading and caring.
If you are in a similar situation, don’t give up and trust in God’s plan for your life. You never know when the answer is right around the corner.
So after writing this, there is no need to look back, except to be reminded of the many lessons I learned.
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