As mentioned in my previous blog, I tell myself to “Just breathe” when life gets too overwhelming or difficult to bear.
In addition to this, there is also a place where I go to just listen to the waves, just ponder a bit, and really gather myself. The place is perhaps in the middle of nowhere, but it is the spot.
However, I went there on Monday… and it was a totally different experience.
If I am going to be completely and honest… life has kicking me in the butt. I am personally struggling. I have not felt happy in a while, and it honestly seems like things are going south…
Things happened on Monday that just pushed me towards the ledge, and I knew right there and then I needed a breather. I felt really sad, depressed, and anxious. I was close to having a breakdown, and I knew I had to recollect myself. This was something I had to do.
& so I drove.
I got to “the spot” and I immediately noticed it looked extremely different. It looked more vibrant, more colorful, and full of life. I was so confused. I even asked myself, is this the place I typically go to? Then, it hit me. This was the very first time I went to this place while it was warm outside and had clear skies. Most times I have went… it was always foggy, cloudy, and had an overcast (which I don’t mind because I love the fog, clouds, and an overcast day)… but it completely changed the atmosphere of the spot I went to.
Here is how it typically looks like (at least to me after the several times I went there):
I am not entirely sure if you could envision how gloomy it actually looks, but this is how it looks like most of the times I went there. When I go there, I usually feel as though it fits my mood: gloomy. I honestly did not mind that because when you’re sad, sometimes you just want to allow yourself to be sad.
At the spot, I felt like I could exactly do that. I could be sad, depressed, anxious, and just overwhelmed. I did not have to put on this front that everything was okay. I did not have to pretend like everything was fine and dandy. I could let myself feel what I needed to feel, and when I went back to “reality”.. I’ll be refreshed and renewed & ready to conquer whatever is in front of me.
However, like I mentioned… my visit to my spot on Monday was different.
This is how it looked like on Monday:
( I also noticed that I always wear my black vans when I go to this place, I don’t know why)
Though the waves looked bigger and stronger, the atmosphere was more calm, relaxing, and optimistic. I felt extremely peaceful when I visited the spot. Instead of sulking in my sadness, I was able to appreciate the beauty and the brightness the place had to offer. The sun provided views of the place that I have honestly never seen before, and I was able to see even further than what I have seen. I was just in awe… it was if it was my first time ever being in this place.
I sat there for about 30 minutes listening to the waves, feeling the wind, and just admiring the view. I allowed myself to just enjoy everything & breathe. I did not let my sadness consume me, and all the negativity I was feeling washed away. I felt more at peace after leaving the place than I usually do.
If I’m going to get really metaphorical & just analyze this… I guess this visit to the spot taught me something. Every time I went to the spot… it was gloomy, cloudy, and it looked depressing. Whatever I had feeling inside, the atmosphere complimented it. I never really took the time to look around, but instead sit there and sulk. I always thought about the worst case scenario that could happen to me, and I just fed my negative feelings. I just buried it within myself, and just continued going on.
However, in this trip on Monday… I’ve learned something different. I felt something different. The spot revealed all it’s beauty to me. The skies were a beautiful blue (which is my favorite color btw), the waves were strong, the views were endless, and the wind blew just right. It made me feel more optimistic. Although I was feeling overwhelmed, sad, depressed, anxious, and everything… there was always a bright day ahead of me. It’s okay to feel sad and it’s okay to feel these things, however do not let them consume you. There are going to be brighter days ahead, and once you allow yourself to see it in this viewpoint… then it inspires you to be better.. to fight for those brighter days.
There was a poem that was thought provoking & it struck a chord with me…
“Embrace happiness with the same intensity as sadness”
Sometimes we allow ourselves to be overtaken by the sadness, the darkness, and the gloominess…. we fail to recognize that there is light, happiness, and joy right ahead. We have to embrace those bright days just as much as those dark ones.
Once again, I believe I am rambling… however… I hope this is used for a reminder for anyone who needs it… that lovely & beautiful days are ahead… you need some dark & gloomy days to truly cherish and admire the beautiful & lovely days.
