Emotions are extraordinary things; sunshine and rain, goldfish and sharks, raging riptides, looming forests, rocky mountains and unwavering waves. And the crazy part? All in the same day.
Well sometimes, anyway. (Lets not portray yourself as a complete emotional mess, Ellie.)
If we feel too much, we are ‘irritating’. We are ‘melodramatic’. We are ‘a wreck’
If we feel too little, we are ‘robots’. We are ‘cold.’ We are ’empty’.
This is all according to societies rules. Or sometimes even our own. Sometimes we construct things in our minds that don’t even exist.
Me? I’m an overthinker. Every single, tiny, detail ticks away in my brain until confronted. If not confronted, it absolutely will not go away. Instead, a little army of these thoughts will build up and build up. Except, this army does not carry weapons, and eventually, is defeated.
Don’t overthink.
Now, if you are a overthinker, you will understand the complete and utter absurdity of this advice. That’s like saying ‘Don’t be british.’ or ‘Don’t be female.’
You are who you are, and that’s okay.
IT’S MORE THAN OKAY!
I’m a happy person. I’m a lucky person. I’m a happy-go-lucky person, you might say. I complain, like everyone else. I moan and groan, like everyone else. And yes, I get upset too. But guess what? So does everyone else.
I set myself standards too high. And these standards seem quite simple: To always be happy. But in reality, it just isn’t realistic or achievable. Being sad every now and then is natural- it makes us human! Being sad shows we can relate; it shows we care.
But sometimes we feel more down than your average glumness because someone cancelled on you or something like that. Sometimes there isn’t a reason for these emotions, which is the most frustrating thing- because it also means you can’t find a solution to them!
Spoiler alert! This was me the other day.
Every 30 minutes I wanted to cry, everytime someone spoke to me I snapped and everytime someone asked me what was wrong, my answer was ‘nothing.’ And the odd part was, that this was true. Because although I wasn’t okay, there really was nothing causing my sadness.
I spoke to the person I am closest to about this, and they said ‘Crying is like admitting to yourself that you are happy or sad.’ This stuck with me, because although I felt sad I knew I wasn’t sad. In life, things are going well! I’m close to amazing people (CRINGE), I am doing fine at school, I have a part time job and am learning to drive.. and I will be an Aunty in 2 months!
So what was going on?
I decided to concentrate on myself that day. I cancelled my plans, turned off the TV and other distractions and went on a walk. When I got back, I made a mindmap of things that defined ‘me’. I also included things I wanted to learn or hobbies I wanted to take up. (I’m a control freak and having a plan makes me feel immediately better). And like all fairytales, Ellie ended the day feeling happily ever after.
Aside from this lovely life story, there is a point i’m trying to make (hoorah!).
The point is that emotions are natural- the good ones and the bad ones! But in order to stay on top, you need to take time out solely for yourself. Why? So you don’t lose your focus on who you are and who you aim to be.
— But similarly, don’t do this ‘solely me’ thing for so long that you end up as an isolated, lonely, lazy, fat slump. —
No-one wants that, do they ;)?
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