Rate this book

Thanks For The Feedback: The Science And Art Of Receiving Feedback Well (2014)

by Douglas Stone(Favorite Author)

3.98 of 5 Votes: 4

ISBN

0670014664 (ISBN13: 9780670014668)

languge

English

genre

Nonfiction

publisher

Viking Adult

review 1: This book is focused mostly on receiving feedback rather than giving it, and is invaluable for that purpose, but I think it's great for those giving feedback as well. It tells you in very easy-to-understand, let-me-break-it-down-for-you, even humorous fashion how to get value from even the most rudely delivered feedback. You'll learn how to separate the important part of the message from the noise and recognize the hidden messages often found in feedback. Those giving feedback will benefit by learning how what they're saying is being processed by the receiver. Read this before your next performance review.
review 2: Learning how to receive feedback is more important, because that is what is within your control, even when others give feedback badly. (oh look... more, I just paraphrased the subtitle.Master the skills required to drive our own learning:Recognise and manage resistanceEngage in feedback conversation with confidence and curiosityFind insight in most kinds of feedbackStand up for who we areAsk for what we needReceiving feedback is both useful and hard because it sits at the intersection of two needs: The drive to learn, and the need to be accepted. Yet we must be careful not to use the 'you should accept me for who I am' to close off all feedback. Growth then becomes stifled.Three kinds of feedback that all too often get confused with each other:Appreciation (Here's a pat on the back)Coaching (Here's how to do it)Evaluation (Here's where you stand)Three kinds of triggersTruth (That can't be true!)Relationship (Who are you to tell me that?!)Identity (That's not who I am!)Explicit disagreement is better than implicit misunderstanding. The former leads to clarity, the latter to resentment.Feedback has a before (what data led to this statement?) and an after (now what?) Being specific with these two makes the feedback that much more concrete AND actionable.Separate intentions from impact when assessing feedback regarding one's actions. It doesn't matter how the action was done, only how it was received (to the other party).Our temperament is made up of many things, some of which are:How we manage uncertaintyHow we experience noveltyWhat recharges or drains our energyWhat makes us feel safeHow we experience conflictDetail or big-picture orientedLinear or randomVolatile or stableOptimistic or pessimisticDifferences in temperament lead to friction in relationships.Differences in baseline (resting mood), swing (degree of deviation from baseline), and recovery time (how long one stays up or down) affect how we react to feedback, and how long the mood swings last. Being aware of our usual go-to defences when given feedback makes it easier to swallow, when the time actually comes.When telling stories about feedback, remember to constrain the time, specificity and who it involves. Avoid catastrophising. Treat others' view of you as input, not imprint. Consider, not dismiss. But it isn't final.In letting yourself be helped, you're letting yourself be known. less

Download links for: Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well

Advertising