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Filth (2013)

by M. King(Favorite Author)

4.02 of 5 Votes: 5

languge

English

genre

Romance

publisher

Dreamspinner Press

review 1: I was torn on how to rate this book as it wasn't written in a style that I particularly enjoy. I prefer dialogue driven stories but this one spent a lot of time in the heads of the main characters. I have never read a story with this type of conflict. It was interesting and new enough to me to keep me reading. I wanted to see how it all turned out for them but in the end I didn't really feel captivated or emotional about the relationship between Toni and Kel.3.5 stars in my head but I am giving it 4 simply to counter my bias against the style in which the story was relayed.
review 2: Filth is a fascinating study in gender, love, pain, and sheer strength. This is an absorbing and engaging story to read yet the main characters, Kel and Toni, are anything but... more easy. Though the subject matter is intense and moving, the story doesn’t ever feel depressing or heavy. This is not an angst filled novel with drama at every second but there is a quiet intensity that comes through. This tension keeps you glued to the story, turning page after page with no clue what will happen and where the characters will end up. There is an overly optimistic feel to the ending but then again the characters approach their life realistically with a strong thread of hope.Filth has been on my radar since Val gave it a glowing review earlier this year. The story is a character study between the steadying force of Kel and the complete chaos of Toni. Kel and Toni live in an unknown city on the edge of poverty. Kel turns tricks to support them while Toni works part time at a local independent bookstore. They met at an outreach center and there was an instant attraction. Now a year later, Kel is struggling with the weight of their relationship, Toni’s decisions, and his own deep love for Toni. Toni recently decided to transition to being female and the illegal Mexican pills, mood swings, expensive treatment, and outside influences are straining an already rough relationship. Kel is not sure he can hold on despite his adoration for Toni and at this pinnacle point, a terrifying event happens that forces both Kel and Toni to evaluate their lives independently and together.For 2/3rds of the novel, the pace is chaotic and frenetic. Bouncing between Kel and Toni’s third person perspectives, the chaos that reigns over Toni sets loud and often difficult obstacles. The last part is quieter, introspective, with a thread of peace, calm, and even happiness that comes over the two. Kel is the stabilizing force and often the narrator for the reader. He has incredibly intuitive insight into Toni and often relays how the story wants Toni to be seen. Kel adores and loves Toni but struggles with Toni’s issues. Even before the transition and dangerous pills, Toni’s always been damaged. Their relationship is made up of angry, often violent fights, wild mood swings, bitter words, and quiet resolutions. They survive by burying their feelings, problems, questions, and rarely even listening to each other.Kel is seen as the stabilizing force, the caretaker, the steady strength. He makes sure they have enough money to live and support Toni’s pills and electrolysis appointments, even while he’s not sure he’ll be around much longer. Kel is gay, not bisexual at all so the thought of Toni turning into a woman bothers Kel on many levels. He sees Toni as running from his life, his issues, and many of Kel’s insights are meant to convey to the reader more depth about Toni. This is especially helpful when Toni takes over the narration and is a bundle of contradictions, pain, and need. He’s all over the place; often picking fights that he knows are wrong but he can’t stop himself. Toni often becomes inconsolable over minor issues, freaking out when predictable events occur. He’s difficult to appreciate and understand, thus Kel’s more even handed frustration and even hints of desperation are a good contrast. Just as Toni is revealed as having such inner strength and drive, even amidst the chaos of his battered emotional and mental health.The concept of gender is played with here as initially Toni (born Anthony) wants to be female but comes to realize that his gender is neither male nor female. He has desires and needs for both – he feels safe, comforted, and confident dressing as a woman but he has an intrinsic masculine quality that he doesn’t want to lose either. The story plays with this not only with the transgender ideal but often mixes the pronouns he and she when referring to Toni. Toni and Kel mix these as well, sometimes within the same paragraph or sentence. Initially it’s clear that Kel sees Toni as male and Toni sees herself as female. But this changes gradually and soon the descriptors are used interchangeably by both characters in both dialogue and internal musing.The writing is engaging and story absorbing. I immediately connected with both characters, felt their pain, frustration, drama even as I didn’t always like their actions. Toni is especially difficult and early on, I sympathized with Kel, knowing that he was reaching his limits and would one day disappear. I even felt it was best for him given the dysfunctional and highly co-dependant relationship. Yet when the later action happens (trying not to give spoilers but it involves one of Kel’s tricks) and both Kel and Toni reevaluate their lives and their relationship, this feels honest and authentic. They don’t make grand gestures, well aside from one, but are determined to change their lives and hopefully together. The story doesn’t end with everything worked out but more so of a hope for a better future. less

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