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Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps For Attracting Your Perfect Mate (2009)

by Patti Stanger(Favorite Author)

3.53 of 5 Votes: 3

ISBN

1416559949 (ISBN13: 9781416559948)

languge

English

genre

Nonfiction

publisher

Atria Books

review 1: I've never read a self-help book in my entire life. Ever. For anything. But even I can see my dating life is starting to resemble the sinking of the Titanic so who can give better advice on how to stop taking on water than Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker?I have to say, this book was a lot better than I expected. Like a whole lot better. I got some tips into what men are really saying when they do certain things that frankly I wish I had known these things 10 years ago. I probably wouldn't have made nearly as many mistakes. For the woman that might need a flashlight into navigating the dating world but wants to do it in a way where you aren't giving up the booty too quick and getting a ring is your finish line, she gives real practical tips on what's going on, wha... moret to say and not say and how to be engaged in courtship but for a modern era and a modern woman. She even has some pointers for us ladies over 40 and why there are plenty of men that want us than our evil, firmer twin, 20 years younger.I was so into this book (confession time) that I took copious notes on its contents. You'd have thought this book was going to help me pass my SATs or get me into college or something. I would highly recommend it to anyone looking to refine their game and figure out what they're doing wrong and how to correct it. In a previous review, someone said that Patti recommends women lose weight in order to get a man and that's not true. She makes a point of saying there's no one body type that all men like so instead women should exercise and eat right because who doesn't feel like they radiate their best selves when they work out regularly and are eating good, nutritional food. Her no-nonsense approach worked for me and her writing style is friendly but direct, like the girlfriend that is trying to make certain you get what you really want and has your best interests at heart.The later chapters drag a bit but mostly because they are geared toward people that are in an exclusive relationship and might be moving toward marriage. My focus was on the early half of the book, the section for those of us that, ahem, struggle to take flight. She has only one piece of advice that I knew I wasn't going to take: to get professional photos taken and put them on something like a business card with pertinent information about yourself on it to give to men you meet. Um, no. But her advice about letting the man "lead" in the courtship and to not bombard him with all your deep dark secrets when you're just getting to know someone and stop calling him all the time because you are losing power when you do that? Priceless.Her other advice that was rock solid was: "Coffee is cheap, drinks are an audition, lunch is an interview, but dinner means business - the business of romance." I asked a male friend what he thought about that he said it was spot-on. Dinner means "I'm not jacking around, I'm serious about a relationship" so that advice alone makes this book a must-read. I also personally liked that she made it OK to say a relationship-leading-to-marriage is what you want and to sort your dating life around that. So often we women can take a more passive approach and be all "I'm open to anything, let's see where things go." Patti gives permission to say you have an objective and the man can either be on the same program or not, his call.She recommends readers take a "dating detox" and the length of time you spent in your relationship will determine how long your detox is for. I'm currently "detoxing" but I look forward to putting her recommendations to work in a few weeks. Wish me luck!
review 2: I wish I would've read this in my early 20s...Though I probably wouldn't have been as open to a lot of information when I was younger (rejecting things left & right for being too conservative & thinking that "this isn't how things work anymore" or whatever), so much of the book is just great details about dating that I either didn't know, realize, learned the hard way, or thought *it was just mean.* I think I would've maintained a couple of quality relationships or possibly given people a more serious chance had I read this earlier on.I do feel like things work different in different areas of the country; however, and I really wish I could hear her speak on a place such as, say, Portland, though I feel like she would yell about how things are the same everywhere or whatever. I just moved back from Massachusetts, not even in Boston, and I know this information would be SPOT on for dating there. In fact, the entire time I was reading this I was wishing I had it 6 months ago when I started seeing this amazing guy who was SO perfect for me - Never have I felt this way so long after, even - But I had definitely messed it up via text. However, I am back in Portland & things are SO much more laid back here. I know there is a TON in here that is perfect for anywhere & I am excited to have read it before coming back & starting over in dating after having left a bad relationship back there that went on [& off] for FAR too long (I never even wanted it to start). But there are also a lot of things that I feel are more casual in dating out here. I know I could hold out for a man who does most things in this book, and I have learned to let a man pay, especially back in Mass., but here I feel like it's more appropriate to offer to pay once in a while, even if I don't. I think there are a few things that might not work as well in certain areas & I don't want to be running away from a lot of possible relationships because I'm expecting men to pay for every date in a city where this isn't a common cultural practice...This doesn't change my rating, however. Seriously, totally worth a read if you are dating or ever wanting to date. If you are younger or feeling like these things are asking too much, you really are worth it & it has taken me many years to realize this and, luckily, an earlier ex from back in Mass who DID pay for every date & acted in a more traditional manner for me to realize how nice this was & that I did deserve this. And now I want it! Having a man pay for dates does not say anything about you as a woman (or man) - It speaks to that the man is willing to work for you & is showing investment in you. If the guy can't throw down a few bucks for your meals or coffee, it's not worth it. I went on a blind date the other day & the guy had already paid for his food & sat down. The date was over before it started...Good luck! less

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