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Klątwa Grzecznej Dziewczynki (2011)

by Rachel Simmons(Favorite Author)

3.65 of 5 Votes: 1

languge

English

genre

Nonfiction

publisher

Laurum

review 1: The first part of this book is almost interesting--why do girls communicate the way they do? Especially in high school? What are those weird passive-aggressive girl fights about? Why is it so hard for teenage girls to communicate with each other in a healthy way? This book offers a tiny insight (hence the 2 stars) to why: girls are obsessed with being "good". But it doesn't get into it nearly enough.Where do girls get the idea of what a "good girl" is? It's not just TV and their mom. I actually think most of my "good girl" communication problems stem from Charles Dickens, Louisa May Alcott, and Jane Austin, among others. And the Bible. Don't forget the image of a good women offered up in there. This book would have been awesome if it just stayed focused on where we get all... more these "good girl" ideals from and really dug into analyzing them. That would have been interesting. But this book doesn't do that. This book is about fixing the problem. And that's where this book is actually a problem in and of itself.YOU DON'T REWARD AND PUNISH CHILDREN INTO HAVING HEALTHY COMMUNICATION STYLES! Holy crap, does this author not see the ridiculousness of her suggestions? This would be like be writing about book about how to get your kid to not hit people by smacking him every time he does.So basically I wanted to kill this lady for the entire second half of her book. She almost started to redeem herself at the very end when she suggested that maybe mother's should look at themselves and how hard they are trying to be "good mothers" rather than actual people. Unfortunately, every helpful suggestion she has in addition to her insights are all just... shallow. And shallow is boring to me.ALSO, why the hell would girls want to communicate in healthy ways in high school? Unless everyone else is doing it and there is a cultural revolution... you're daughter who communicates like a passive aggressive mean girl is doing EXACTLY what high school requires her to do to get by. Could the solution possibly be not taking 2000 teenagers and putting them in that competitive prison where they are all miserable and mean to each other? If you are really really really new to the study of psychology and the self you may possibly enjoy this book and even find it helpful. But using external control psychology on your daughter will actually harm you, your daughter and your relationship more than it will help. 2 better options than offered in this book: homeschooling and creating a new cultural ideal, finding healthy heroes for our society and our children to enjoy reading about rather than watching reality TV and reading our kids classics based on Victorian ideology.
review 2: I really hate reading these kind of books. Even if the points are valid, these types of books tend to be repetitive and redundant (get it?) in order to fill enough pages to make a "book". I have the attention span of a 4 year old, so I'd much prefer a bullet point list of important things to know, or better yet, have a friend read it and summarize it for me! But in the case of this book, it was referred to me by a friend (referred, not summarized, mind you) when my daughter was asked the question, "What is something interesting about you?" and she answered, "I am freaky smart!". I immediately chastised my daughter and not for the reasons you may think. She really is "freaky smart" . I was upset at her for being so bold. I didn't want the other moms to feel bad about their not-so-smart daughters and I didn't want the other girls to see my daughter as conceited and boastful. My friend kindly suggested I support her confidence and pride--girls are too often discouraged from being smart. Smart girls are not valued in society. "We" like nice girls and cute girls. And this is the "curse of the good girl" in a nutshell. I see myself as an independent, successful and confident woman but what I found after reading this book, is that I may not be modeling those qualities for my daughter! Despite the repetition, which is eased by many interspersed anecdotes, I found much about this book enlightening. I love the idea of "authentic" girls as apposed to "good" girls and I was motivated to try to raise my daughter without a glass ceiling and support her 100% in all her freaky smartness! less

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