The problem with horror films isn’t that they’re constantly rushed out, but that they’re rushed out without any true thought being put into them. It’s always more of the same, and the lazy dressing meant to look like an original thought isn’t anything more than a slap in the face to an audience that deserves better. Too bad this film came out at a time when more of the same was the lazy trend motivating studios into greenlighting unnecessary horror films.
The Screen Gems and Columbia Pictures film “The Messengers” has some slight atmosphere going for it, but beyond that, you’ve seen this song and dance before. With 10 years now having come and gone (which I missed the actual day somehow), it’s even worse as it’s a terrible reminder of what was coming out in the late-2000s. Thank god some horror films of the last few years has managed to redeem the genre, as forgetting this dark period isn’t as easy as forgetting the film itself.
It Might As Well Be ‘Little Asian Ghost Girls’
Kevin Williamson was definitely on to something. In “Scream 4”, Kristen Bell says it best. “… It’s not aliens or zombies or little Asian ghost girls. …” She may have been speaking about a sequel in a long running franchise about a man in a mask who stabs and kills people, but what she was describing would’ve been infinitely more fun than the garbage offered up here. This film just reeks of the type of film Bell’s glad she’s not watching, which never truly got better after so many years, sequels and American remakes. This film doesn’t technically feature any Asian ghosts, but it may as well.
What populates this film are ghosts that look grey with decay and manage to move around however they please. They move up walls, quickly behind people and upright as well, depending on what the not-so-scary scare demands. Sound familiar? And it’s still not the saddest thing in this film. The fact that this film isn’t scary in any way, shape or form is not really unfortunate, but tragic. If anything could’ve saved this unoriginal film, it’s the scares. However, for that to happen, there’d have to be some kind of attempt at proper execution. Writer Mark Wheaton and directors Danny and Oxide Pang would need to have some sort of grasp on how to craft suspense, tension and fear, or at least one of those. They clearly don’t. I’ll give them some credit for a slightly creepy atmosphere, but even that has its shortcomings.
Because of this supreme ineptitude, the only thing the audience is left with are jump scares that are just as original as the non-suspenseful and dull unspooling of the film’s events. Even the mystery can’t be all that interesting. Everything moves along in the slowest way possible, that by the time anything’s supposed to be slightly eerie and scary, it’s not and only serves as a reminder that you’re not having any fun. Making this worse is when the jump scares occur and they’re just the typical ones that populate all the other horror films you’ve seen. They just occur and include loud shrieking music. They’re not earned in any capacity and only further your misery, especially if you reacted but know that it was because of the pure suddenness of the moment. Kicking yourself afterwards is more fun.
This film has no danger either. Even when we get to the part of the film that features a sequence straight out of “The Grudge”, there’s still no feeling that any of the characters are in danger. By this point, you’re also just going through the motions. You could care less what happens to the characters one way or the other. So long as the film ends, you’ll pretty much be fine with anything.
Same Characters As The Last Time
If the lack of scares or original story, even for what amounts to a haunted house film, is disappointing, then you’re going to love the characters. They’re every type of character in most horror films from any decade. They’re lifeless and lead uninteresting lives. Sure there are things designed to make it seem like they’re characters you can and should care about, but when you look closer, they’re merely mirages. Talented actors, or in the case of Kristen Stewart, at the time, up and coming and full of potential, that are utterly wasted. Nothing they could’ve done would’ve made it possible to save the characters or the film. This might explain why I forgot that Dylan McDermott and Penelope Ann Miller were also in this film. I now feel really bad for them.
Other than being dull, the biggest problem with these characters, like the rest of the film, is that they don’t do anything new or semi-original. Everything is expected. For starters, they’re a family that moved from one place to another, because they needed a fresh start. Sure there were some reasons given, that were also designed to draw sympathy, but by the time that’s revealed, you’ve sat through the majority of the film. You don’t care. Next, there’s the problem with the overall haunting of this house. It’s as cliché as ever. Strange things occur, only one character is aware, but no one believes her. They think she’s losing it and just wants attention. This is also where the whole moving from Chicago thing comes into play and becomes even more tiresome. Miller and McDermott just believe Stewart is trying to act up like in Chicago and thus, are flat out dismissing her concerns. Setting aside how she does sound crazy, it’s annoying that this is the approach that Wheaton decided to take. I’ll let you guess where Miller and McDermott stand on Stewart’s claims by the end of the film. You’ll never figure it out. In the end, all this does is lead you to a boring ending. The mystery is solved and what should be shocking, under different direction and writing, just happens. It means the film’s over and you can move on to something more exciting, which you should’ve been doing instead of watching this steaming pile of crap that thinks it’s a scary movie.
Originally released: Feb. 2, 2007
Directors: Danny Pang and Oxide Pang
Writer: Mark Wheaton
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Dylan McDermott, Penelope Ann Miller, John Corbett, Dustin Milligan and William B. Davis
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