Welcome, Aimee! I met Aimee through the writing community here in Northern Virginia. I was so happy when I found out that her Willa Pennington, P.I. series has been picked up by Midnight Ink. I’ve read the first seven chapters and she is an amazing writer. Here’s Aimee:
*classical music playing* Good morning, everyone. Come in, please. I’ve got some coffee, and tea, and hot cocoa. Or would you like your coffee or tea iced? Yes, some people do enjoy ice hot chocolate too. I can do that. Oh, you don’t want any iced hot chocolate, you were just mentioning that you can ice it too if you wanted? True. I have some baked goodies prepared, as well. I’ve made scones and muffins and cookies and a breakfast cake and … more treats. Just a few flavors each – we have blueberry, in honor of Barbara and her Maine-based Clambake Mysteries, maple for Jessie’s Sugar Grove Mysteries, Liz’s Pawsitively Organic Mysteries’ Apple and Cheddar Pupcakes for anyone who’s brought their furry friend, Edith’s Apple Almond Cake from her Country Store Mystery offering, some clock-decorated cookies for Julie’s Clock Shop Mystery Series, and finally some chai cookies in honor of Sherry, who I know likes chai because we are neighbors and I get to meet up with her for coffee (or chai) regularly.
Sorry, I bake when I’m nervous. A lot. And I babble too. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m talking out loud when I do it. My brain just sweeps my mouth along with it. I mean, there are times when I’m just talking away and I’m alone and it’s not true what they say – talking to yourself doesn’t mean you’re crazy. Responding doesn’t make you crazy either. Probably not worrying that either makes you crazy is a bad sign.
*looks around* They’re gone. It took them forever to vamoose. Those Wicked Cozy ladies are so nice and I’ve got some stuff I don’t want them hearing. Remind me to wipe off their nice coffee table when we’re done. I got some frosting from those clock cookies on it.
Here’s the deal, they’ve got no idea I’m a fraud. They think I’ve got something going on. But, and this is between you and me, I’m scamming everyone. See, I wrote this book. It’s a decent little book. It’s not going to change anyone’s life except mine. I’ve got a cool main character, Willa, who sure as heck doesn’t have a cook or a butler. She’s like me – never too sure what to wear so she always ends up wearing jeans, relies on coffee to make up for lack of sleep, really (!) likes her junk food, and curses like a sailor and a truck driver had a baby mechanic. And just like me Willa’s in way over her head.
GOOD NIGHT IRENE, CAN SOMEONE TURN OFF THAT BLEEDING RACHMANINOFF? IT’S THE CRACK OF FRACKING DAWN, FOR PETE’S SAKE! (My normal language has been cleaned up for the ladies and gentlemen visiting.)
Oh, we both yell a lot too.
Despite reading thousands of books in my lifetime (what my mentor, Matthew V. Clemens calls my MFA in Literature) I had no idea how to write a book. I really had no idea how to write mystery. I wasn’t a cop or a private investigator. Heck, I wasn’t even an amateur sleuth. I had no idea how to solve a crime so how was I going to have my main character investigate a crime? I was a fraud! I was a fraud before I even started writing the darn thing? What’s up with that?
I’m in good company though. If the experts are right, we all suffer from Imposter Syndrome to a degree. There are a bunch of articles about it and a TED Talk. (I love TED! At the end of the post hang on for some links to my favorites.) It’s the self-help research topic du jour. That’s reassuring, somewhat. I mean, I’m not really comfortable with the idea that air traffic controllers are up in their tower internally racked about whether or not they can keep ten planes from crashing but knowing that Evanovich and Rowling and King all look up from their keyboards and think, “Ack! What a load of shit I’m shoveling. No one will want to buy 400 pages of this tripe” helps a little when I’m 60,000 thousand words into a second book I barely know what’s supposed to happen in and my editor tells me they don’t like my first book’s title and we’re trying but we can’t come up with a new one. PANIC! And now what do I do? Can I convince her the title is perfect? Can I beg her? Will crying help? I mean, I’m already crying. Maybe if I call her and she can hear me crying …. Of course, I can’t convince her! What do I know? She’s the expert. I’m just a fraud.
A fraud who’s waiting to hear back. An impatient fraud. A scared fraud. It’s been two weeks. She said they had to postpone my launch meeting but that it gave us extra time. Did they skip my internal launch meeting? Did she decide they don’t want to publish the book? No book, no new title? That’s not how I want to get to keep my title. No, no, it’s fine. She’s busy. You’re not the only author she’s working with. They have other books that are being published sooner. Those come first. Other authors with other books. Better authors with better books. They’re not publishing my book because they’ve realized it’s not as good as the other authors’ books. No, no, it’s fine. You did this writing the book too. Panicking doesn’t solve anything. You’re worrying about things that aren’t real. Yet. Just concentrate on writing the second book.
That’s what I’m doing in between contract and publication – freaking out that I’m a fraud and people are going to catch on. Frankly, this is not a new aspect to my personality so I’m kind of an expert at it now. Maybe I’ll have that put on my business cards, Author and Expert Fraud.
So, how did I do it? How does a fraud write a mystery while worrying about being a fraud? I had to wing it. And the cool part was my main character could wing it too. And she could have angst about it too. And every feeling I’ve ever had she was going to have – scared, excited, overwhelmed, exhausted, determined. And that made her a more real character. Wow! I flipped the script on Imposter Syndrome and made it work for me.
It doesn’t mean I beat it. I still feel like a fraud sometimes (see above re: freaking out my publisher canceling my book’s publication). That’s okay. The experts are right – we all feel like frauds sometimes. We just can’t let it paralyze us and stop our forward momentum. I mean, I’ve got more books to write. Willa’s got more crimes to solve. We both feel a little more secure in our respective jobs. We’re not frauds. We’re not imposters. We’re just winging it … with a cup of coffee in one hand and a handful of cookies in the other. Now, if I could just figure out how to type with my nose. Sigh. I’ll bet Stephen King can type with his nose.
Oops! Almost forgot about wiping off that coffee table.
So what do you think … does Imposter Syndrome get to you too sometimes?
Amy Cuddy: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are
Lidia Yuknavitch: The Beauty of Being a Misfit
Jane McGonigal: The Game That Can Give You Ten Extra Years of Life
Nadia Lopez: Why Open a School? To Close a Prison
Brandon Stanton: The Good Story
Jess Lourey: Use Fiction to Rewrite Your Life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5vSLh3oPXI&t=562s
Aimee Hix is the author of the Willa Pennington series set in Fairfax County, Virginia. The first book publishes in Winter 2018 from Midnight Ink. A former federal defense contractor who retired to write, she resides in Virginia with her family. Website: www.aimeehix.com
Oops! Almost forgot about wiping off that coffee table.
So what do you think … does Imposter Syndrome get to you too sometimes?
Share this:
