For a long time, I had struggled against change. I was averse to the thought that I could become an entirely different person from who I was. If my present and past views are mutually exclusive then what is there left to consider earnestly? Opinions are immutable because if they change often then what is there left worth fighting for? And so I fought like we all do, for the things we constantly believe in. The road beyond this choice lead to innumerable misunderstandings between friends and strangers, social media brawls and college campus altercations, but that was still tolerable. However, I was lacking the placidity and tranquillity because I was always locked and loaded to defend my opinions and consequentially offend.
I remember clearly the day my ego shattered, the last time, into irreparable pieces. I was on my knees, hating who I had become, but it was also in that moment that I had started loving who I was becoming.
Change is the only constant and I pack my ego in the trunk. Since then I have tried to never take anything too seriously, and the list of things worth fighting for has become shorter. With each passing day, I found worth by losing worth and things made more sense. The fights were replaced by healthy discussions and acceptance became abundant. I realized that who I was, had limited the variety of experiences I could learn from and the wisdom I could imbibe from each experience. They say an uninformed opinion is a dangerous opinion but information is not knowledge and what is more dangerous is a conceited informed opinion that lacks knowledge and therefore wisdom. Since wisdom comes from acquired knowledge and authentic knowledge comes from the amalgamation of experience and facts, experience not ego should be the foundation of who you are and what you fight for. And though knowledge is conducive to better opinions, nothing transcends the wisdom that comes from experience; the acceptance of the validity of those experiences being the foremost insight that we are reminded constantly but usually, ignore.
How we have repeatedly, throughout the centuries and in one way or the other, boiled down a variety of real human experiences to one supposed ideal and given it more importance than life itself. We secretly convince ourselves that the only way we can accept each other is if we all start sharing the same opinions on the same topics. However, we forget that it is more honourable and virtuous if we can live in harmony with one who thinks and believes differently than us. Acceptance is a higher virtue than inclusiveness because inclusiveness can only extend boundaries whereas acceptance invalidates them.
So on this New Year’s Eve, which experiences define you? What boundaries have you built around you, will you overcome? Are you ready to come to the middle ground?
As I look back I can only say: to have been all that I was and yet to not be that same person this instant is exciting. We don’t grow. We change. And yet to still be able to relate to those different personalities I’ve been and to actually understand each is almost like being multidimensional and perpetual. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like: to be perpetual. I think this is it.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large — I contain multitudes.
– Walt Whitman
Cheers to the old, to the new, to all of them, to the change.
P. S. Change is the only constant is still an opinion, but ironically it is one that gives space for change. Also, it is more than 2000 years old!
