Bienvenue! C’est une autre année à perdre!
Hehe … kidding aside, my 2017 was full of … “adulting”. There are a lot of times that I needed to be mature act as a real adult. It was quite an experience for me. But honestly, I couldn’t remember most of what happened that year. All I just remember were the feelings that I had that time. But nonetheless, I feel blessed that I made it through that year alive and complete, together with my loved ones.
Sans Emploi
So this time, I decided to quit my online job and look for more option to be inspired and whatnot. Although, most of the people who are dear to me, opposed my decision because it was “sayang“. Well, honestly, yes, it was “sayang” because first, it was my only stable income; second, it was easy. But I was not happy at all. I don’t want to do my job halfheartedly. For your information, I love being passionate with what I do, whatever it may be. Even money couldn’t motivate me (I know it was an immature, impulsive move and even though I still have bills to pay) and that was my biggest sign to stop doing it. I don’t want to be a robot.
You may be judging me from this stupid, naive, millennial decision, but I knew in the beginning that it was just a temporary job. It was just a patch for the hole. The work environment was not healthy anymore. It was quite stressful. I don’t know why am I defending my decision. Hahaha To end this note, it was a gut-feeling decision, and somehow, I know it was one of the greatest decision I’ve made on 2017. After it, I was able to do most of the things that I wanted to do for a long time. Especially, blogging and photography. I was also able to bond with my family more. I had the time to travel. I will share more about it soon – my abrupt Cebu trip. hehehe
You know the feeling that you suddenly trust everything to happen on its own, without even thinking about what may happen; without even trying to control anything. I am so tired of having this constant anxiety and all I want to do is relax and be unproductive for once.
Diarrhée Désastreuse
So now, I am jobless! hahaha Earlier this year, I was invited for an interview. Me and Miggy, went to another city, a 7-8 hour bus ride. Again, it was my/our first time travelling alone to that city. When I say, alone, it means, I was not with anyone from my family, who were my security blanket and compass/GPS. The trip was kinda a disaster as Miggy wasn’t feeling very well. He had a terrible stomachache. I’m just glad he was able to push through even without the comfort of a decent toilet or rest throughout the trip. All I can do is appreciate his support and maturity. Despite these things, I think I wasn’t able to made it through the cut. But, it’s alright. I know there’s more opportunity out there.
One of my favorite shots in my Cebu 2018 trip. This was taken in Colon, Cebu.
Nifty Fifty
Also, after how many years, I was able to afford and had the courage to buy a 50mm lens for my old and first love, my passion for photography. It was a dream come true. Although it was fairly cheap, but it was worth it and made the fire burning again. It was a vintage film lens that has the same bayonet with my dslr body. I will make a post more about it. I am psyched to share more about it.
Kabuang ug Kasakit
Miggy produced a short film entitled, Kabuang ug Kasakit. The story was quite simple. But I don’t know how to explain it here. Hahaha maybe I will post about it these coming days as it was accepted in a local film festival. And It will be shown on the end of the month. I am also psyched and nervous at the same time. But nonetheless, I know Miggy did his best and he still has the potential to continually improve under correct guidance. I am just really proud of him no matter what. Although, I was not able to assist him physically 100% on this production due to my project-based job, which was depressing for my part but we made it through. I’m just hoping for more experience after this.
Chance
This year, well, at least the first few months of this year. hehe I am giving myself a chance to be myself again. Being my old self; back when I was passionate, enthusiastic about almost anything. I wish for less frustrations, less controlling, less anxiety, and to more happiness, passion, inspiration, motivation, healthy bod, not only for me but also for my parents, family and loved ones. And of course, maturity and acceptance/forgiveness (this will be the hardest).
I wish this year will be a shithole. (opposites attract *wink*)
See you on the next post!
xoxo,
Sarrs
