Synopsis:
Matt Nolan is the high school drug dealer, deadbeat, and soon-to-be dropout according to everyone at his school. His vice principal is counting down the days until Mr. 60% (aka Matt) finally flunks out and is no longer his problem. What no one knows is the only reason Matt sells drugs is to take care of his uncle Jack, who is dying of cancer.
Meet Amanda. The overly cheerful social outcast whose optimism makes Matt want to hurl. Stuck as partners during an after-school club (mandatory for Matt), it’s only a matter of time until Amanda discovers Matt’s secret. But Amanda is used to dealing with heartbreak, and she’s determined to help Matt find a way to give life 100 percent.
Publication Date: August 22, 2017
Trigger / Content Warnings: Grandfather dying of cancer, drug dealing, absent mother and father, discussion of a character’s parent dying when they were young, mild fatmisia
Favorite Quotes:
“I just wanted you to know you’re not alone out there.”
Note: I received a review copy in exchange for an honest review. Quotes could be changed in the published copy.
This book is small. It’s less than 200 pages, but this told a beautiful and emotional story. Matt has been some kind of alone his whole life. He never had much – financially or family wise. But he always had his uncle. But Jack is dying. And Matt is struggling to keep up with the bills and keep his uncle comfortable. Passing high school with a bare minimum while dealing drugs to keep his head above water. Just barely. Though the story is told in 3rd person, you can really feel Matt’s emotional and mental turmoil in this book. He is slowly watching the one person he’s ever really cared about waste away in front of him. It is painful and tearful to read at points. But it’s a struggle that is handled beautifully by the author.
Matt meets Amanda at school while attending a club because it’s now a graduation requirement. (Which is just ridiculous btw, but I could see that actually happening.) She is a social outcast but she is lively and fun. She is one of those people that makes everyone’s day just a little better by being in it. And even though this story doesn’t revolve around Amanda, you really get a sense of who she is. Her involvement in the story is mostly as someone who is helping Matt through this awful situation and trying to make him see the goodness in life. She has a life outside of Matt though. She has goals and ambitions. She is an actual character and not just some set piece. There wasn’t any romance and I liked it that way. It would have detracted from the emotional impact of the book.
One thing that rubbed me the wrong way a little bit was the way Amanda being fat was treated. It wasn’t awful, but there were a few derogatory comments about her body. Some by the main character and some by others. But none of that made her character less, and she seemed to be really comfortable in her own skin. All-in-all the fat rep could have been better and it could have been worse.
One last small complaint, Matt never faces any real consequences for his drug dealing. I know that isn’t what the story is about. This is a story about grief and aloneness and loss. But I couldn’t help but think that if Matt had been black, so many people wouldn’t have tried to help him get his life on track. There would have been consequences.
This book surprised me in its goodness. I finished it wanting more of the story.
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