One of the many episodes this series where we have two final appearances of occasional panelists in one show. Tonight is the last time we’ll be seeing Dave “the bearded Starsky and Hutch fan” Gorman, and Lee “CEILING!” Mack on QI. The former hasn’t done enough on QI to garner the reaction, but the latter has DOMINATED every single one of his episodes, and will be missed.
Tonight’s show also features Ronni Ancona, who’s very funny below-the-radar, but gets hate from youtubers just for talking.
On the then-pope Benedict, or Ratzinger, they showed a picture of him in his youth.
Stephen: “There he is on the right, with those eyes-”
Lee: “Some would say the ‘far right’..”
On guessing singles ad abbreviations, Stephen suggests ‘we’
Dave: “Week ends?”
Stephen: “A bit more graphic than that, I’m afraid-”
Dave: “Well-endowned?”
Stephen: “YES!”
Ronni, of course, is outraged.
Alan: “You could just put that, couldn’t you? Put ‘well-endowned’, and then the box number.”
Stephen suggests ‘ALAWP’, and that it’s similar to WE’
Alan: “A large…and wavy penis…”
Stephen: “All letters answered with…”
Alan, still not getting it: “…a penis.”
Dave, after getting a few of these: “I’m not sure if this is gonna help me or not, but some of these acronyms are shared by the world of pornography..”
And then, with BBW, Alan guesses ‘big blue whale’.
Stephen: “If you had yellow in your back left pocket, it meant that you like being, er, peed on…”
Lee, already smirking: “And what does it mean if you wear a big yellow thing ’round your neck, hanging down?”
Stephen: “What did the king of India’s daughter enjoy doing with Flippity-Flop and Jump-kins?”
Dave, channeling Danny Baker: “If they’re not rabbits…then something’s amiss…”
Stephen: “This game also goes by a more contemporary name-”
Alan and Dave, simultaneously: “TIDDLYWINKS!”
They turn to each other, shocked, laughing
Dave gives a few terms to prove how proficient he is in Tiddlywinks.
Lee: “I can see why you’re using those lonely-hearts columns, there…”
Also, Stephen introduces rings the players can throw at hooks on center stage, like the old carnival game.
Ronni, brushing off her ring: “I’ve just got a bit of dirt in my pocket…”
Lee, taking this the wrong way: “Then, let’s hear it…”
Ronni, as Lee’s squaring up: “Oh, HE’LL be unbearable…”
Stephen: “It’s alright, he’s already unbearable…”
Stephen asks the panelists to explain several boxed pub games, one of which is ‘laugh and lie down’
Lee: “Laugh and lie down- THAT is a box of rohypnol.”
Stephen explains that, well, NOBODY KNOWS, because all three games were banned, and nobody really knows how to play them, just that they exist.
Lee: “I love the idea of a barman just going…”HEY, ARE YOU PLAYIN’ MILKING CROMMOCK- ‘No.’…”
Alan:
Lee: “Two blokes doing that, probably one cow going ‘…muuurrrr…”
Stephen: “Competitive SMOKING was also very popular-”
Lee: “OH, COME ON…”
Ronni: “That’s a bit smug…”
Lee: “Well, he’s the champion…”
Stephen: “What was the longest running attraction at Coney Island?”
Alan: “Was it an elephant?”
Dave: “Bearded woman, perhaps?”
Lee, the logical answer: “Was it a bearded elephant?”
Stephen: “There was one particular woman who came to see this every week for 37 years-”
Lee: “Cliff Richard!”
Stephen, after breaking: “…he was not what you’d call usual entertainment-”
Lee: “Ah. Cliff Richard!”
Alan Davies gets the award for the darkest joke of the night:
Stephen explains the top attraction at Coney Island were Human Incubators, prematurely-birthed children that would sit in incubators, and people would pay 25 cents to see them.
Alan, confusing the machines with skill cranes: “was there a grabbing hand…?”
Stephen, after the audience laughter subsides: “You are an evil man.”
Dave: “It’s an Angelina Jolie pick’n’mix…”
Stephen reveals that Eleanor Roosevelt kept her baby in a cage out the window.
Ronni, with her one funny line of the show: “Is this the question that Michael Jackson couldn’t answer…”
Stephen also says that Eleanor Roosevelt’s maiden name…was Roosevelt.
Lee: “D’you think she actually changed her name? Because if not, you’ve not officially got the same name. I mean, you’ve GOT the same name, but it’s not the same as registering it….d’you know what I mean?”
Stephen: “I sort of…”
Lee: “The reason I ask ‘dyou know what I mean’, is because I’m not sure I do.”
Dave:
Stephen, on the doctor who invented the epidural: “He injected his assistant’s lower spine with cocaine…”
Lee: “She fell over, said it worked.”
Alan: “They played ‘laugh and lie down…”
Lee: “Could have been worse, they could have played ‘milking cradock…”
Stephen: “How can you tell the difference between a french baby and a german baby?”
Lee: “It’s not often you can do the same joke twice in one show, but is the German baby on the far right?’
There’s a brief lull in the tail end before GI, but Alan saves this episode from falling into the depths by doing an impression of a goat falling down a dam.
Stephen: “Where did marsupials come from?”
Lee: “…Marsupia.”
Stephen: “…it could have easily been the right answer…”
Overall: A mild episode with some really funny moments toward the middle. This episode found its groove rather quickly- Dave supplied the information, Ronni provided setups to jokes, Lee provided punchlines to jokes, and Alan helped them collaborate. Lee, as usual, had the best night, as his humor really seems to compliment the program, and it’s sad he won’t be returning for more. Dave Gorman had a great show, as he was definitely enjoying himself, and supplying a ton of good information. Ronni…has lost her way.
MVP: Lee
Best Guest: Lee
Show Winner: Dave
Best QI Fact: Incubator Babies on Coney Island
Best Runner: Laugh and Lie Down