I did a LOT of stupid stuff as a young kid, and as a teenager and even in my 20s (but we won’t go through that decade again; specifically the first half.) I did things I’m not proud of and knew was wrong at the time, but when the cat’s away the mice will play, right? I’m sure we can all relate to this on some level.
Oh good gravy, Mom just skip this next part if you’re reading this, for it will not make you proud.
I remember in the 6th grade, I cussed like a sailor because I thought it was cool. Now, I cuss less, but have no real excuse for not using a stronger vocabulary. Probably around the same time, give or take a year, I remember walking down the sidewalk with some friends and I flipped the bird to a passing car, for no good reason. It was an older lady and I have honestly felt guilty about it since the second it happened. I started drinking when I was 16 years old, alongside many people within my social group. And when I drank, I was most likely smoking some too. Throughout those years, I told plenty of lies about where I was going and what I was doing. Hello… if I told the truth, my parents would have kept me under lock and key, and I don’t blame them. They were and still are great parents. If you know them, you know they’re great people who would have never ever raised me to do those things.
Source: giphy.com
Now, during those later teenage years, I also went to youth group and was very involved in church activities, made good grades in school and was never brought home by the cops. My point being, I did not become a degenerate, and I knew I was doing wrong but still had to learn the hard way and grow up. Like I said, I’m sure all of us had those times we knew our parents would be disappointed because of our own actions.
So why is it, I see and hear so many people talking about kids out misbehaving and immediately blaming the parents? I see comments on social media stating the parents must not care or be in the picture or let the kid get away with everything. Oh puh-leez! I had a curfew. I did chores. I got grounded plllllenty of times and you know what? I still went out and misbehaved on many occasions with friends. I also felt guilt over much of the wrong I did and suffered consequences and learned many lessons along the way.
Shaming the parents immediately, especially when you have no idea who they are or the situation is just ridiculous. Some kids just need a swift kick in the arse, even though they have very caring and involved parents! Let’s face it, adolescents can be straight a-holes, regardless of their upbringing. Making parents scapegoats for every little decision their child makes only adds to the problem by removing all accountability.
Yes, there are many instances in which a child is missing the discipline needed as the result of an absent parent or two, and that is heartbreaking. But aren’t most of us all doing the same thing and just winging it more than Amy Winehouse winged her eyeliner? I know I’m just getting started at parenting and I’m making it up as I go!
So, unless you never got the ol’ “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” and a grounding, don’t go throwing stones. Catching a young adolescent in the act of vandalism, burglary, drugs and alcohol or any of the sort? Go ahead and contact the parents if you can find out who they are, because they probably have no idea. If not, contact the authorities.
Feel free to rip the kids a new one yourself because even if they laugh or shrug you off in the moment, it will most likely stick with them for a long time to come and knowing others are paying attention will give them cause to think twice next time.
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