Why, why, why??? A favorite question of toddlers as they explore and try to make sense of the enticing and confusing world around them. It can be a powerful one-word question for any adult too…so we could take a clue from those curious kids! Why is why so powerful? When you really dig deep, it allows you to get to the heart of your mission, goal or purpose. Each person has their own why and our organizations and companies have collective whys. If you work for and/or are affiliated with an organization (or several), do you know their why? Do the people you lead know your organization’s why?Does your team have a why and what would they say it is? What would others say it is? Do you know your why?
In one of the most popular TED Talks of all time, Simon Sineck articulated the essence of why it’s so important to start with why. Are you curious who else made this list?
When you start with why, you realize it can drive everything you do and will help you make decisions with clarity. If you are pondering an important decision about your organization’s services, ask yourself, how does this align with our mission and our purpose? How does this new opportunity allow me to fulfill my purpose even further? How will this endeavor move our team closer to realizing our why? When you know your why, let it lead you – personally and professionally.
If you are looking for your why, check out an earlier post – What’s Your Spark?
Are you are looking for a tool to help you or your team identify your core purpose or get to the heart of an issue? I suggest using the “five whys” exercise. I first heard about this at a Kellogg Executive Education course for nonprofit leaders. Because I was curious, I discovered this is a Six Simga Tool used to determine the root cause. I think it can be applied to finding a core purpose or in goal setting too. You can do this individually, as a reflective writing exercise, or you can do it verbally with another person.
Asking why is not always the most appropriate question however. In some contexts, asking why can be interpreted as judgmental or second guessing one’s decisions or authority. Or it could come across as just plain rude and sassy. The why question can put people on the defensive. Use it wisely.
My favorite questions that keep me curious begin with what because the word is open and expansive and invites possibility thinking. This summer I attended a leadership conference and heard Marcus Buckingham, a business researcher, challenge a room full of leaders to have regular check ins and one on one meetings with their direct reports and ask one question (well, it’s really two folded into one sentence)… What’s your priority this week and how can I help? If you have direct reports, I suggest trying this approach then get curious about their responses. See what shifts.
I’m gaining more clarity lately about the profound parallels between parenting and leadership. This video of Liz Wiseman at the annual REACH Summit (hosted by VitalSmarts) sparked this epiphany when she shared her “extreme question challenge” story and how she used this tool with her children. We know, or hopefully we know, that a simple, accessible way to empower the people we lead is to ask them questions so they find the answers themselves and come up with the solutions. This is the core premise of Wiseman’s research on leaders who are multipliers vs. diminishers. It’s eye-opening and if you haven’t checked out her book, I invite you to put it on your 2018 list.
The most amazing things happen when I remember, in moments of parenting panic, to ask my kids what they need to do instead of telling them every step I think they need to take. I fall easily into the trap of barking orders. When I’m fully present and in my focused leadership mind, I get curious and ask them what they need to do and the most amazing thing happens…they answer and go do it! Ask my kids questions instead of barking orders, huh….why hadn’t I thought of that??? I spend my days at work being really curious about what is going on in the lives of the leaders with whom I work and I ask my coaching clients questions so they find their own answers. Reality check. It’s my responsibility to encourage people to hold up the mirror and self-examine, and it’s not at all easy to do it myself.
When you’re stuck over a decision, when you’re developing goals or a strategic plan – get curious. If (when) you are tired of telling (maybe even barking or yelling) – try asking questions instead and see what happens.
I contend that life is WAY more interesting when we focus on being curious. You never know what you will learn, hear, discover…it might even be that new spark you were waiting for!
- What’s your why?
- What peaks your curiosity?
- What drives the curiosity of your team members?
- What are you curious to learn and what are you willing to do about that?
- What gets in the way of your curiosity?
- What would come from asking more questions instead of giving more direction?
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