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This Doesn't Happen In The Movies (2000)

by Renee Pawlish(Favorite Author)

3.55 of 5 Votes: 5

languge

English

genre

Mystery & Thriller

series

Reed Ferguson Mystery series

review 1: (Note to self: Beware of free books on Amazon--If they aren't classics, they are usually free for a reason.)The book has an interesting premise. Unfortunately, the author does everything he can to make the reading experience as infuriating and distasteful as he possibly can.The characters--including the main character--are thinner than tissue paper. The situations are ridiculous--and not in a funny, good way. The dialogue is stilted and painful the way bad, unfunny jokes told in bad, unfunny ways are painful to listen to.A few examples:A stereotypical computer whiz who has no common sense...so little common sense that he doesn't know you should peel an orange before eating it and therefore takes a bite of it rind and all.Various detectives around the country who raise ... morenot a single eyebrow when a moron posing as one of their colleagues gives his name as "Phillip Marlow" or "Sam Spade" when calling to ask for information. Neighbors who are too stupid to live. Stupid neighbors are fine in a book, but these are--as so many other things in this book--so overboard it's ridiculous.He can't even keep track of what's going on with his own characters. This happens a few times, but the most infuriating is when, after spending over 20 minutes in a convenience store, the main character gets into a vehicle and immediately begins to warm his half-frozen hands under the heater vent. What? The convenience store was unheated? What about the cup of hot chocolate the main character had when he first came into the store...you know, the cup of hot chocolate that warmed up his hands while he held it? Remember? YOU WROTE IT--CAN'T YOU EVEN BE BOTHERED TO RE-READ IT?Overall, this book gave me the impression that the writer has somehow gotten the idea he is the only person in the world who has ever watched classic noir movies--that his 'secret' knowledge of them sets him apart from the rest of the world who has never even heard of them or who are barely sentient beings who are astounded by his knowledge of them. There are two possible reasons for a book to be this bad and this insulting to a reader's intelligence:1. The writer bases his writing and his characters on real people, and therefore must be hanging around with some real losers. 2. The writer is just an insufferable jerk.(I'm leaning more toward #2.)
review 2: It all starts out with the femme fatal that walks into his office...With a strong knowledge of film noir and hardboiled detective books, Reed Fuerguson feels he is well equiped for detective work. Though the knowledge is OK, he finds there is more to being a detective as he takes on a case of a missing husband that takes him on a wild ride. Snappy patter and cracking wise are not enough to see him through.A fun and light read. less

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