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I Am Not A Cop! (2008)

by Richard Belzer(Favorite Author)

3.23 of 5 Votes: 2

ISBN

1416570667 (ISBN13: 9781416570660)

languge

English

genre

Humor

publisher

Simon & Schuster

review 1: When I picked this book up at a yard sale, I thought it might be a fun biography of a terrific actor and comic. I missed two words on the cover: A Novel. After spending the first two chapters wondering why Richard Belzer was chasing the Russian Mafia, I noticed those two words. Okay, so I was wrong. I'll treat it as a novel and see what happens. I kept reading and wondering where the book was going. Before I knew it, I was finished and still was unsure why I had continued reading it all the way to the end. It's an amusing story, but somehow unsatisfying. You never really get a look into Belzer's TV world, you never really get a meaty mystery, and so many plot points were left unanswered. Just one of those books that comes along that, when you get to the end, you w... moreonder what you read it for.
review 2: Richard Belzer has many accomplishments. He is a famous actor, comedian, producer, and author, and his portrayal of Detective John Munch has spanned six network TV shows. He’s a regular on the Howard Stern Show, and is loved by fans all over the globe. Still, there’s one thing you should know.He is not a cop.“I Am Not a Cop” (abbreviated from here after as IANAC) is a fictional account written by Belzer as he is dragged into a bizarre investigation following the disappearance of his friend, Rudy Markovich. Rudy is a medical examiner with a long, storied career in New York, and he is coming close to retirement. When he meets with Belzer, something is clearly bugging him, but he refuses to discuss it. Instead, he tells Belzer to meet him at Madison Square Garden the following night, to attend a championship fight between the latest contender, and the Ukranian champion. Rudy’s friend, Alexi.Rudy gets jumped in an alley as he and Belzer are exiting their dinner, and the non-cop dishes out some martial arts to save his buddy’s hide. Rudy still won’t talk about what’s on his mind, but promises an explanation the following night. Naturally, he doesn’t show for the fight, and Belzer attempts to get some answers from Detective Max Kaminsky of the NYPD. He comes up empty in that effort. Belzer knows the police aren’t going to really pursue Rudy’s disappearance with any dedication, and he decides he had best do a little snooping around.To complicate things, one of the Associate Producers gets wind of Belzer’s brawl in the alley, and assigns him a personal assistant to keep him out of trouble. Belzer is partnered with the young, sassy and talented Kalisha “Kali” Carter. The studio’s effort backfires, as Kali soon displays an appetite for fact finding as deep as Belzer’s. When Belzer opens an envelope with a puzzle on it, and Rudy’s ticket to the boxing match, he knows he has a trail to follow, and his cop-like instincts might be the only thing that saves his missing friend’s life.Belzer and Kali soon find themselves navigating a web of Russian mobsters, goons, sleazy private investigators, arrogant cops, super fans, smugglers, and Rudy’s desperate family. Belzer has to juggle the case with his shooting schedule (for the hit TV show he never mentions by name), and his martial arts training (which results in many of the funniest lines in the book). The story winds and twists with all the fever you’d expect from the author of “UFO’s, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies Don’t Have to be Crazy to Believe.”Belzer’s on-stage and on-camera persona is very much on display in this novel. He’s sardonic, sarcastic, and snarky. He has trouble controlling his attitude, even when it kicks him from the frying pan to the fire. He frequently references classic pop culture, including Casablanca, Fibber McGee & Molly, and John Wayne. He also reveals himself to be a big fan of mystery and noir writers like Raymond Chandler, Dashiell Hammet, Oscar Wilde, and, yes, Lenny Bruce. It’s his first foray into outright fiction, and the flare he injects into Det. Munch is very evident from the book’s first pages. IANAC is humorous and carries a good deal of puzzle solving in its story. Belzer’s account of the Rudy Malkovich disappearance is every bit as ground in reality as Bruce Campbell helping Richard Gere get his groove back in his book, “Make Love: The Bruce Campbell Way.” Still, it’s entertaining, especially if you’re a fan of pop culture, crime noir, and sarcasm. Belzer has a distinct delivery, and it’s heard loud and clear on the pages of “I Am Not a Cop.” less

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