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Tem Je Geest (2013)

by Ruby Wax(Favorite Author)

3.75 of 5 Votes: 4

languge

English

genre

History & Biography

publisher

Spectrum

review 1: I read this book because of Robin Williams' decision to kill himself. I wanted to understand how the mind could push anyone that far into despair. None of us is meant to become a slave, let alone of one's own mind. But the mind is like a wild animal and can slowly become anyone's master. 'You have to send this email', 'You have to meet this deadline' etc. Sounds familiar? We feel bad if we don't do what our mind tells us to do but if we do it all the time then life becomes nothing more than a to do list. Textbook catch-22. Do yourself a favour: stop doing whatever you are doing once in a while. Just STOP. Ghandi said 'there is more to life than speed'. He didn't say what tough... How are we supposed to react to global disasters aired on TV? Are we expected to go there and ... morehelp? If not, what's the whole point of telling us in the first place? Honestly, how do you feel about Iraq, Syria, Ukraine? We live in a fog of facts and it's hard to pay attention to anything for more than 30 seconds in our busy lives. What's more, many of us want to change the world but most of us do not want to change ourselves...... or can't because our brain is full of chemicals triggering emotions. 'We are our own walking pharmacy', the author says. The reason why girls want more shoes and guys fast cars is because of a chemical in our brain called dopamine. Each time we get something, we reward ourselves with an injection of it and that feels good, it's a kick, a real high. Chemicals are to a large extent driving our behaviour. It's the craving of dopamine that makes us want more, not the shoes; endorphins give us that 'houhou' feeling if we run long enough; as for testosterone, it has lots of sex but no brain... Luckily, the book tells how we can overwrite the mind. Only two options (suicide isn't one): anti depressants or 'mindfulness'. The former are still a mystery... they work but what do they do to the millions of neurons we have? The latter is by far the preferred option. 'Mindfulness' is witnessing what's happening and standing back without judgement and the usual negative criticism. Thoughts are not who you are, nor are they facts and the mind should be your servant, not your master. The problem is what emotions make us do. Let's take an example: fear. Uncertainty is most people's biggest fear, that's why we tend to lock ourselves in a box, professionally and personally. The author explains how some women keep picking the 'bad guy' type. They know the pain is inevitably coming and feel they can somehow comfort themselves by continuing to be that person who is fuming at how bad all guys are. Ruby Wax says this type of scenario can last a lifetime. It wouldn't if we remembered that we will all die down the road. It's dark I know but thinking of death is the best way to accomplish big things in life, achieve what's really important to us. 'What's wrong with me?' Look, it's simple: there is nothing wrong with you, or me, or any of us; we just are. Of course the mind might disagree and since it always wants an explanation, the best is to concentrate on the area of pain and describe it, feel it. Just like Freud said 'you have to bring your darkness into the light before you can get better', it's all about acceptance. It's like imagining watching your thoughts on a cinema screen. And it works: studies led by top US universities show that mindfulness reduces sensitivity to pain and helps eradicating addictions too. To conclude, if there was only one takeaway, it would be this: be nice with yourself, forgive yourself, let yourself off the hook once in a while, shut down those internal voices saying that you envy someone else's life or that you are not good enough. You are GREAT.(Sydney, September 2014)
review 2: I actually bought this book instead of buying a book on mindfulness or similar (codeword for 'self help' to try and calm my mind a little and help with a bit of anxiety/stress). I'm really glad I picked this book up as I enjoyed the author's humour on such a tough subject, and found her personal sections really interesting and moving. And I really enjoyed learning more about the science of the brain, which I didn't expect. If I ever have the opportunity to study something as I get older for fun, then I think Psychology/Neuroplasticity is for me! I also liked the examples of the mindfulness techniques. But unfortunately there wasn't enough practical advice to help me start working on mindfulness straight away. The benefits, supported by scientific research, are pretty mind blowing and I'm definitely sold on incorporating this into my life. And whilst I can follow her suggestions I don't know for sure I'd be 'doing it right'. But I do have the Headspace app on my phone, and haven't used it for months. So I'll be allocating a bit of time to get back into that and then working on some of the practice ideas in this book. less

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