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The Jewel Of Asgard (2011)

by Aiki Flinthart(Favorite Author)

3.81 of 5 Votes: 5

languge

English

genre

Historical Fiction

publisher

Aiki Flinthart, via Smashwords

series

80AD

review 1: I enjoyed this book, but I have to criticize a few things. The general plot was well written, and it kept me interested enough to read more. That being said, though, it seemed to me like this book was an example of a good first draft that could have used some more revisions before being released.I would have liked to see the author spend more time developing her characters. I can see that he put in an effort to give them basic personalities, but he wrote those personalities into the story a little awkwardly. The characters seemed like cardboard cutouts, it was difficult to care about them.There were a number of minor plot points that didn't make sense. The ones I'm thinking of contain spoilers so I won't mention them here. I'll just say that that's a reason to revise your ... morework, so that you make sure everything fits together properly.There were a number of historical inaccuracies. For example, the Druids never had anything to do with Stonehenge. I'm willing to forgive those, though, because any game based on historical events is bound to have inaccuracies and to take some creative liberties to make things more interesting. After all, this is an 80 AD with magic and fairies.One thing that kind of grates at me about this book is that it becomes extremely obvious that the author has never played an MMORPG in her life - or even just a regular computer role playing game for that matter. That makes the whole premise of the book come off as incredibly insincere and non-genuine.Right away I can hear people objecting "You can't possibly know that!". Well, I think I can, and there are several strong clues. I'll let you be the judge:1. Before being magically transported into the game, Pheonix spends some time wandering through the woods and killing bandits. Then he heads to a local tavern for a bite to eat. When it comes time to pay, however, he suddenly realizes that he forgot to equip his character with money.Here's what's wrong with that:- There is no such thing as an RPG in which you have to remember to equip your character with money. Money is a basic attribute of your character, and each character starts out with the same amount.- Phoenix had just spent some time wandering around the woods and killing bandits. In RPG's, when you kill something you get any money or objects it was carrying. So even if the game gave Phoenix no money to start out with, he'd have a few coins to rub together after his little stint killing bandits.- In RPG's, you don't buy first and pay later. You make the payment, and then you get the object you purchased. You don't get a chance to stiff the merchant NPCs (non player characters) by grabbing the object and then refusing to pay.2. When Jade enters the tavern, she's refused service because she's a woman. Even if this were a historically accurate depiction of how things worked in the year 80 AD (which I'm pretty sure it's not), no game company is EVER going to program a game in which female players are denied the same services as male players.3. Phoenix, who we're told is an experienced gamer, is stumped and has to look up the words "charisma" and "dexterity" when he's creating his character. These are very common character attributes in RPG's! There is no way that Phoenix would be stumped by these words. I think it's clear that it's the author who doesn't know that these are common attributes that any experienced gamer would understand.4. Phoenix is confused at the fact that he can even see Jade in the game, because the pre-release allows access to the servers but not other players. That wouldn't happen. There's no sense in giving players access to the servers but not to other players. The only reason the servers exist is so that players can play together. You don't even need an internet connection to play an RPG by yourself.5. The players are given seven lives. That's nonsense. RPG's do not use limited lives. If you die, you either restore from a save point or get booted back to the beginning of the level. In an MMORPG (online RPG) you might get to spend some time in an underworld until somebody casts a resurrection spell on you, or perhaps you make some kind of deal and get resurrected but lose some experience points.What makes this idea even more ridiculous is that game companies pretty much stopped using limited lives in the early 90's. Nobody thinks anymore that it's a good idea to make your players start all over from the very beginning and loose all the hard work they put into their game if they run out of lives. That's an idea of game mechanics that we've happily moved past.Was Super Mario the last game that the author played?I think it's really clear that the author has never played a computer RPG. That's a serious flaw if the whole premise of your book is that your characters are trapped inside of one.I can give a little more leeway to this kind of thing after they're magically transported and the game becomes "real". I figure that the game mechanics probably fall to the side a little in favor of real world physics when that happens.But the problem still remains that the whole premise is that these characters are stuck in what was supposed to be an RPG. If that premise doesn't feel genuine, then it takes a lot more willing suspension of disbelief just to get into the story.If the author didn't care enough to try playing a computer RPG beforehand, she could have just written this book as a standard "mysteriously transported to a magical land" story and there wouldn't have been much difference.Overall, this was a decent story that kept me interested. I just really wish that the author had taken the time to revise and think through all the different aspects of her work.
review 2: 80AD level one The Jewel of Asgard by Aiki FlinthartThis novel reminded me of an MMORPG-oh wait-it really is an MMORPG. I think anyone hooked on those MMORPG's has often wondered what it would be like to be in the game-really in the game. If you're like me and you know that your avatars have all died at least 30 times or more then it's only a passing thought. One that you let go of really quickly.Of course this one is a free one- in fact all five books are free- and that's all five levels. Of course we've all often thought about writing a book based on our favorite game and so here we have someone who has- well I think the game is made up- but it all works in the way expected. I'm a fan of Science Fiction but having delved into to MMORPG's I had to check these books out.80AD is targeted to young adults but it's a pretty darn good story and its quite entertaining for all ages. There are two major characters Phoenix and Jade the to unsuspecting teens who will get trapped in the game. Phoenix builds his character out of his desire to escape from his stepfather's abrasive behavior. Phoenix needs something to take out his aggressions on so he creates a warrior. Jade doesn't fit in and has been hoping if she hides that the rest of here family her 6 older sisters will forget about her and leave her behind. When she gets that wish she finds herself with a free night and obtains permission to play the game on her father's computer. She is intelligent and knowledgeable about herbs and healing plants so of course she creates an Elvin halfbreed healer/magic Avatar.The story starts with Long Baiyu - a prisoner below someones castle or keep- using magic as his last resort to possible escape. The game; 80AD, is still in development so the two copies we know of are supposed to be standalone copies of a beta version. But, this story includes a bit of magic before the game starts. Phoenix's mother gives him her half of a yin yang charm necklaces that she and her late husband had. Phoenix's father died in a car accident and his half of the pair was lost. There is a reference to an old couple at the time of the accident.Jade's family has recently moved into a house that has several places that seem almost like mystery hiding places and she's found a pouch containing a strange necklace with a charm. The house was previously owned by an old couple.They are both playing the game the same night and although it is not set up to do the MMORPG they somehow connect to each other and lightning strikes and the find themselves trapped in the game.Phoenix is excited that he's now this big burly warrior and inside a game that seems so real. Jade wants only to get out of the game, which is quickly becoming too frightening for her. That's not going to happen soon and they are about to find out that they need to at least finish this level and that the stakes are high.Both characters are quite strong and they easily play off of each other since they are almost polar opposite from the start. They each have a slot in the game for one helper and that's how they acquire Brynn and Marcus, a thief and a Roman. Since in this game a Roman would be the enemy we can see where this is all going.This unlikely quartet set out to acquire the Jewel of Asgard which is the quest of the first level. Jades hope is that when they finish this level they can return home.Phoenix is hoping for as much conflict as he can stand.Soon the reality of not having bathrooms and showers and restaurants and refrigerators and soft comfortable beds all seem to wear on both Phoenix and Jade. Their helpers don't know of those things so they can't miss them. Add to that the conflict and the pain and trying to reconcile deaths in a game that now seems too real to ignore and things start to get old for them both.The only thing keeping them going is that they are convinced that if they fail the quest that it will be the end- not just for the game but for the world they're trying to get back to. They don't even know if they have the requisite seven lives and are very much reluctant to give up even one.The quartet are all very different and engaging characters and the story moves along quickly though for me that thought that this is a novel about a game keeps looming in the back of my mind. It takes an effort to keep the reading of the story on some serious level but Aiki does a fair job of keeping things real.I loved this book and any gamer should enjoy it and its a good book for Fantasy lovers. There's five levels so there's five books and as far as I can tell they are all free, which is hard to understand considering how engaging the first one is but I'm not going to complain.There's even a bit of history and mythology buried in the story. Thanks, Aiki for the entertaining read with good clean fun and the requisite amount of violence; and if the other four books match the level of this one I'm sure I'll polish them all off in no time. J.L. Dobias less

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