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Man Up: Cracking The Code Of Modern Manhood (2012)

by Carlos Andres Gomez(Favorite Author)

3.64 of 5 Votes: 4

ISBN

1592407781 (ISBN13: 9781592407781)

languge

English

genre

Nonfiction

publisher

Gotham

review 1: One of the significant ways in which our society has changed within the last twenty odd years or so is our conceptualization of gender roles. How individuals of a given identified sex or gender ought to behave, what their goals should be, what they should value, are all part and parcel of the “box of expectations” that are deemed as inappropriate or appropriate. Decades back, a father being sensitive and affectionate to his son would have been frowned upon. Young boys wanting to do something other than play sports would have been labeled as suspicious or odd. Flagrant violation of gender norms would have been (and was) punished until a semblance of conformity was restored or the individual appropriately ostracized from society. (Of course this existed for women too, bu... moret this book review regards contemporary masculinity.)But things have changed. I say this with relief (selfishly) because I myself would never have made it very well fifty or sixty years ago. As a man who enjoys cooking, knows his colors, admits to emotional sensitivity, and has yet to find sports seriously appealing (though I’ve made ground in enjoying hockey and disc golf in recent years) I certainly don’t fit the mold of traditional masculinity. Vestiges of gender prejudice certainly followed me throughout my childhood and adolescence, but I’m relieved and thankful that I was able to come to a point not only of self-acceptance but self-value with regards to these qualities. However, not everyone gets to that point.That’s where Carlos Andrés Gómez’s "Man Up: Cracking the Code of Modern Manhood" may come in as a helpful read. I first found Gómez’s book as a sort of bibliotherapy resource for a client that was struggling with some narrow concepts of masculinity, which were making his life difficult. "Man Up" is nothing more than Gómez’s biography, and his personal journey from childhood to adulthood, struggling to “be a man” in a world that pressured him to be what he felt to be narrow and insincere. The author is wired for liberality given his parental background and cultural experiences, so in someways he has a head start over other men. Nevertheless, difficulties with paternal modeling and Gómez’s own artistic, sensitive temperament complicated the development of his sense of self.I think that the value in Gómez’s narrative is that he is in many ways, a stereotypical male. He is a heterosexual son of divorced parents, educated, and able to engage in stable friendships with men and romantic relationships with women. Nevertheless his internal conceptualization of commitment, how men ought to relate to women, and what is appropriate behavior (objectifying women, being ‘tough,’ etc.) is drastically influenced by what you might consider the “Hollywood über man” cardboard cut-out. His biography outlines his discomfort and frustration with this facade, his struggles to confront his own self-sabotage, and a journey towards personal integrity and authenticity. It presents an opportunity for the basic assumptions of masculinity to be examined, and offers the challenge for the reader to consider the true measure of a man."Man Up" is a worthy read, but I will offer this caveat; Gómez as a postmodern, secular poet does not shy away from sharing intimate details of his romantic life, nor using language that more conservative individuals might find offensive. From a Christian perspective, I would not hold this up as a book that takes a life of faith into consideration in defining masculinity and presenting new ways of thinking. If you are a Christian, I would suggest exploring alternative options with the same theme that can be congruent with that worldview. Nevertheless, "Man Up" is representative of the larger secular population and has incredible value in that respect for therapists or the average reader.***This and other reviews/counseling related content may be found on my blog: robfreund.wordpress.com***
review 2: This book is not meant to have all of the answers and it doesn't need to. What it does is tell one man's journey of grappling with the confines of masculinity. With a candidness and vulnerability, Gómez takes us through his ups and downs, his victories and his mistakes. This is a real journey -- one that isn't claiming to be pretty or simple but raw and complex. Not being the best version of oneself is something we can all relate to and Gómez offers up his story and missteps for us to examine and even critique. Demonstrating along the way how he challenged and also conformed to what he thought a man was supposed to be.What does it mean to be a man? Or woman? Or anyone in between? What are the confines of gender that we have been raised to believe are necessary? What Gómez offers is not just a new way of looking at what it means to be a man, but ultimately permission for every one of us to get free.Five stars for this brave, new voice. less

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