What.is.that?
Warning : contains spoilers + rape, humiliation and beating content.
First, you have to know that I’m the kind of person who loves reading books with taboos and psychologic subjects as the Stockholm Syndrome, that’s why I first picked this book. I saw how great it is rated on Goodreads and I feel like I’m going to incur the wrath of some people around here, but that’s okay. Just know that I’m not prude (I read a lot of erotic novels and I like it), I’m not narrow-minded or even a killjoy. I respect the sexuality of everyone, really, and I appreciate that some authors talk about real facts of our world, as awful as they could be, but since this is delicate subjects, you have to lead it carefully.
Here, this is not the case. And you can see it even before opening the book. How is that possible that this story, which talks about rape, kidnaping and so much more (I’m coming to it, don’t worry), is classified in « Romance » ? You really don’t see the problem here ? Maybe some people fantasize about rape and captivity, but I’m not that kind of girl and this was certainly not romantic.
You have to understand something.
Rape is not love. And it’s not because the guy who kidnaps you and subjects you to the worse outrages is « sexy » and has lived a terrible childhood that what he did suddenly becomes okay. That’sfucking not okay. When I started the book, I cried at the first chapter and I said on twitter that I probably won’t be able to finish it. Then a girl said to me that « it’s hard at the beginning, but then you get used to it ». Excuse me ? Oh but I don’t want to get used to it ! How could we ?!
Because yes, the writing is incredible, I give her that. The dialogues are great, the feelings of Livvie are beautifully expressed and we feel all the fear that she feels. But God, you can’t agree to that. Actually, it made me sick. It made me cry. It made me wonder how an author can justify rape with a sexy male character and some issues from nowhere. Yes, you pity him because of what he experienced as a child. But rape is inexcusable.
So… let’s see. This is the story of Livvie, who lives with her mother and her little brothers and sisters. Her mother always told her she has « whore blood » in her veins, that she had to be careful not to wake up the beast within her. That’s why Livvie is a virgin girl who wears long skirts and outmoded shirts. But inside of her, she just wants to be like the other girls and wear pretty things. She is not that innocent, but she hides it well. Concerning Caleb, he is a man who lives for his revenge. His life goal ? Making pay the man who made his childhood a living hell. For that, he needs to approach him.
And for THAT, he became a kind of « celebrity » in the pleasure market of sexual slaves. That’s why he kidnaped Livvie one day : he wants to break her to make her the perfect sexual slave, and then sell her to the man of his revenge. Only then, once he’ll be seen as a man of trust, he’ll kill him and set Livvie free. So the book starts with Livvie waking up in a dark room with a man she doesn’t know. A man who will do to her HORRIBLE things, but that’s okay, right, because he’s going to fall in love after all ?
Let me tell you what he does to her :
- He rapes her. BUT (the man is careful) he does not rape her « in the classic way » because she has to be a virgin if he wants to sell her to the best price. So he does everything else, except the « classic way », if I can call it like that. Which is pretty awful, you’ll agree with me.
- He humiliates her. This guy takes pleasure seeing her cry and beg for her life, he even says it makes him have a boner. He calls her « Little Pussy », forces her to spend her days naked or, for instance, to lay on her back on the floor, her legs spread in front of him while he’s slowly eating his lunch.
- He beats her. And no, sorry, THIS IS NOT BDSM. BDSM is a contract between two consenting people exploring the border between pleasure and pain. This… is abuse. He beats her with a belt, no less!
- He washes her and enjoy her discomfort, especially when it comes to her genital parts.
Sexy, right?
So yes, the author explains perfectly the ambiguity of the Stockholm Syndrome. She proves how it can be frustrating for Livvie to hate and not hate her kidnapper at the same time, and that’s something that happen really often in real life. 
She never forgives him and I thank her for that because it would have been the apotheosis. But I felt like she justifies Caleb’s actions and I certainly did not like that. How can you possibly make believe to a love story when this guy did all of these things to her ?!
I’m lucky to have never lived rape or captivity, but I put myself in the place of someone who did and I felt angry. Very angry. Because NOTHING should justify those monstrosities. And, show climax : when she escapes and that other men try to rape her, the guy kills them all. And we’re supposed to find this cute. « I killed for her. What is it, if not love ? ». Sorry but… are you aware that you killed people who tried to do the same thing YOU did ? But no, Livvie says that it’s not the same thing because Caleb was gentle « sometimes », he used to massage her (after HE beat her, I must add).
Plus, here are some extracts I want to share with you, and even if there are in french I’m going to translate the best I can :
« He was a man, and I? I was nothing but a girl, not even a woman. I was meant to fall at his feet and worship at the alter of his masculinity, grateful that he’d deigned to acknowledge me. »
« Only women are able to turn you on to the point of wanting to lick them while they judged themselves sullied ».
« — I was about to have diner when you decided to do your number » : Caleb says that to Livvie right after he sodomized her. Because yes, she « made her number » of course. It’s her fault if she’s being raped.
« You think like a woman » : Caleb says that to himself when he thinks about the feelings he has toward Livvie. Because once again, love is for women, it’s well known.
So maybe I’m a killjoy after all, maybe I see evil where I shouldn’t, but I didn’t love this book even one second and I’m not sorry for it. The writing is great, the psychologic thing is well explained, but there’s something wrong. And if Livvie does not forgive Caleb in this first book, I can’t imagine how their relationship will evolve in the sequel. I don’t want to know, actually.
Rating : 1/5
read with your heart,
Morgane.
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