10 Signs You Grew Up in The Country

My sisters seeing me off to school

I grew up on a dairy farm in Simcoe County.   There were many, many perks to growing up in the country, but also some huge downfalls.  I was pretty sheltered.  I’m almost over it.

  • You Had A Party Line Yep a phone line that you shared with MULTIPLE neighbours.  If someone was gabbin’ you just had to keep picking up the receiver to see if they were off the line yet. If you were careful and the conversation was heated enough you could even get away with listening in! They would return the favour of course by eavesdropping on you and your boyfriend! MORTIFYING! Or you could enjoy pestering them back by picking up the receiver and pretending to speak French until they lost their shit.
  • Your Television Set Got Three Channels I spent my childhood watching endless hours of Leave it To Beaver, Dallas and All My Children. I watched my first music video on MTV when I was in High School.  Needless to say, I was pissed.

    How typical!! And hey was that even a floor that deserved to be buffed?

  • You Went Into The City Twice A Year For your yearly medical appointment and for Christmas shopping. THAT WAS IT.  Escalators scared the creamy behemoths out of me every time.
  • You NEVER Ate Out Are you kidding me? Pay for food when we have a whole garden full of it?!?! HAHAHA RIGHT! Actually I was quite traumatized by my lack of education in the food department.  One time on a class trip we all had to order subs for lunch but I didn’t know what the hell a sub was so I waited to go last so I could see how my fellow classmates ordered their food so I wouldn’t look like an idiot. At a friends house we were having dinner and they had milk IN A BAG IN A JUG What the HELL was I supposed to do with that?!?! Why is their milk in a BAG?? Did I know how to pour it out without spilling that shit everywhere?!?!?!  NO!  I didn’t even know that pomegranates and avocados EVEN EXISTED until I was 21 and in College!! My mouth nearly exploded the first time I tried Pad Thai! WHAT!? FLAVOUR BEYOND SALT AND PEPPER???! CRIPIES!

    Fashionistas sporting a one piece jumper and mustard yellow toque!

  •  ALL Your Clothes Were Hand-Made Or Hand-Me-Down My mom made our underwear. The first time I saw a thong I almost puked.  I still find it hard to pay money for clothes when people just give me the stuff they don’t want. Doesn’t fit? I’ll still wear it as long as it’s comfy! P.S. Farm Kids wore rubber boots in public BEFORE it was a thing! Sorry you spent $150 on yours! HAHA WTF
  • Canada’s Wonderland: The Diverse Melting Pot The closest our town got to diversity were the Italians that cottaged at Wasaga Beach in the summer and that one old guy that didn’t have a thumb.  Wonderland was our gateway to rest of the world.

    I’m pretty sure we had a bathtub though…

  • You Are Frugal: You don’t quite know why you won’t spend your money you just know you have to save it.  (I think this is left over from the previous generation) That being said– what country folk don’t give in cash they give in favours, volunteer hours, fully cooked meals dropped off for a family in need or an extra hand the second you need it. A farm community is worth it’s weight in gold.
  • You’ve Been Driving Since You Were 8 It was a necessity.

    That tractor was practically a family member!

  • You Had Your First Beer When You Were 10 Again- necessary- ever pick rocks from 100 acres of dusty plowed fields under the boiling sun?  Spent a few days loading straw and hay bales into the loft of a barn in the middle of a heat wave? NECESSARY.
  • Death And Shit Don’t Bother You: But people who can’t look you in the eye when they speak to you do.  As my Uncle Ron so eloquently puts it: “If it looks like bull shit and smells like bull shit you’re most likely dealing with an actual pile of bullshit.”

    Wheelbarrow Rides: Essential part of a healthy youth!

  • Ah growing up on a farm was awesome: Where else could you watch a vet insert their entire arm up to their shoulder into a cow’s rear end?? Or convince your town friends to jump from a 25 foot high beam into the hay loft below? Or give the middle finger from the back of the hay wagon to the ‘Citidiots’ trying to pass us on the road? Hahah! Ahh good ole clean country fun! I wouldn’t change it for the world!

    Well that’s it! Hope you enjoyed my first Listicle! You can look forward to more blogs by me posted every week! Cheers !

    ~Virginia Cowan Dennis


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