Have you ever ridden that gravity defying ride at the theme parks? Where you all stand with your backs against the wall in a big circle…..it starts spinning and at first your like…ok…this isnt so bad. Then it gets faster and you start realizing…oh shit….this might be more than I can handle…..then its going so fast that all shit goes to hell and even gravity has failed you…and its all you can do to just close your eyes and breathe and just ride it out.
That my friends, is anxiety.
Anxiety is a Bitch. Anxiety touches on every action, every interaction, every thought. It wraps around you so tight you can barely breathe. You stomach turns, your heart races and you feel trapped in a moment absolutely out of your control.
I’m not talking about this popping up only in life changing situations or situations where you are conquering your greatest fears….Im talking that this happens to some people EVERY SINGLE DAY. Why…who knows…it could be because your using the drive-in at the bank for the first time, or the self-check out at the store and oh, dear god…its BEEPING!!!! Maybe you have to drive in a new part of town or go to a new class. Heck, it could even be because you tried on a new outfit and the lady next to you just gave you a weird look!
Anyone that lives with anxiety, they know the hell that this can be. The kicker is we are GREAT at hiding it! Most of us, have lived with this kind of anxiety ALL OUR LIVES! So we have learned to stay in the back corner, to excuse ourselves to the restroom, to control the tears pooling in our eyes, to laugh when we feel like crying and to stay and smile when EVERY instinct is telling us to run and hide.
The idea that some people don’t deal with this BLOWS MY MIND! To think that people say and do things that they are unprepared for….that is new and scary…..without a second thought…..KILLS ME!!
The part that blows my mind even more….that you can OVERCOME your anxiety and grow out of it. Like a pair of pants…like overcoming a stutter….like learning a new language. It is something we LEARNED, not something we were born with.
Maybe you were shy and used that as a reason to avoid interaction. Maybe you grew up amongst abuse which taught you to survive by honing your anxiety and to fear the unknown. Maybe you were sheltered in a life of simplicity and routine growing up, so the newness of things leaves you feeling ill-equipped. Whatever the cause, it was created as you grew up.
Somehow at some point, you didn’t feel you were enough. You didn’t feel you were capable of dealing with something that came your way. One day a challenge appeared and instead of saying “I’ve got this!” you said “What if…” or “Maybe I can’t…”.
I know this because I have Social Anxiety and my children have social anxiety. I have lived everyday in fear of something as simple as pumping gas or going to a new restaurant. I have watched my children stand in the back of a classroom and skip volunteering for activities I KNOW they would love to do. Because they are nervous. Because they are scared. Because their anxiety tells them they can’t, but I know they can.
These last few years, I have lost about 60 pounds, and then gained some back. But in the process of it all I started looking inwards instead of outwards. I realized that I’m not searching for a number on a scale, but rather for a confidence, for a peacefulness in who I am. Inadvertently by pushing my weight loss goals, I was pushing my anxiety as well. I was developing confidence in myself.
Just this last year, I have began being more open and candid online by hosting a fitness group, by doing live videos, by being more open and honest about my life. I have started walking with my head high and actually seeking out conversations with strangers. I have joined a book club, ladies night, gym, taekwondo class and started my own bootcamp! Any one of which would have left me a puking mess in the past. No I didn’t do it all in one day or one month, I did it, one step at a time, and each step I took showed me the world didn’t end…I dealt with everything that came my way!
Are the “what ifs” bombarding your brain? Reminding you that you aren’t in control. Well, your not. But the question is not about IF your in control…but rather…..ARE YOU STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE “IT”? Whatever comes your way, can you handle it?
So next time you have the urge to do something and your mind starts talking yourself out of it….sign up right then and there….and tell a friend! Take steps everyday to learn to love and BELIEVE in yourself. If you feel anxious, tell yourself its excitement! Remind yourself that YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE ANYTHING!!!
If you feel like your not strong enough, start looking into why you feel your not strong enough. Start looking into WHY you don’t believe in yourself. Talk to a friend….look into podcasts…start daily affirmations…daily meditation…start SOMETHING because YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH, YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE.
