Before I was Yours 3 (40% – 68%)

SPOILERS!!!

The problem in this family is that they don’t tell each other how they feel. Sam is so concerned about Rosie that he does things behind her back and doesn’t tell her a few things about Jonah. For example, he takes the boy to the doctor’s when he complains of a sore throat, and Sam notices that he doesn’t sleep well and sweats during the night. The doctor tells him that he doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but advises him to take him to the hospital. Yet, Sam tells himself that if the doctor is not alarmed, he won’t worry Rosie for nothing.

Jonah still keeps himself to himself as far as Rosie is concerned. It is a shame because Rosie is the one who most longs to be part of his life, and she is kept at arm’s length. He has no problems with Sam, who he clearly favours, and they spend many moments together carving wood. Jonah has also made friends with Alice, and although at the beginning he thinks she is an oddball and won’t help him to be accepted in class, Alice manages to win him over. The girl is teaching him to read thanks to a computer game her father designed. This friendship is really nice and similar to the snippets of friendship between Rosie and Sam while growing up. These children, Alice and Jonah, are peculiar in the other children’s eyes. Alice is allergic to lots of things, and she is in hospital very frequently, and Jonah is also a different element in this homogeneous school. It is Alice he tells about the place he comes from.

The third person that Jonah likes and lets be close is Flick, Sam’s mother. He even calls her Grandma Flick when they visit her in Wales that summer. I feel sorry for Rosie because she really wants to be a mother to Jonah, and the boy won’t let her. Rosie even finds the photograph of Jonah’s mother, which he hid in his shoes. When Rosie sees the elegant woman in the photograph, she drives to the city and does her hair, buys make-up and new clothes. Yet, the following day nothing has changed, and when once again Jonah refuses to eat, she takes it too personally and starts hurling the plates and glasses to the floor. The boy gets nervous and rushes to the sea. He could have drowned if the horse, Ariel, which escaped the stables hadn’t taken hold of him and saved him.

Jonah is sent to hospital and diagnosed with pneumonia. The doctors have more serious news. There is something else: Jonah has some kind of child cancer. At this point things are tense between Sam and Rosie. She has discovered that Sam has hidden some of the things from her, and even though he is well-intentioned, Rosie doesn’t see it that way. They argue a lot now, and there is coldness between them. Sam fears to lose Rosie, and he is ready to forfeit Jonah for Rosie.

Trudi has been trying to find Jonah’s mother because she doesn’t want the woman to turn up one day and spoil things for Rosie and Sam. If Jonah’s mother were to sign her permission for the adoption, things would be better. Trudi and DI Taylor go to see Robin Morse to the prison, and the man is reluctant to talk, but he eventually tells them that Jonah’s mother’s name is Grace, and he was doing her a favour. She was tired of working long hours to look after Jonah, and that is the reason she sent her son to England. The plan was for an aunt to take in Jonah, but that was a lie.

Now that Jonah is too sick, Trudi thinks that his real mother needs to know. When he goes to talk to Rosie, she notices the changes. Surprisingly, Rosie shares her idea that Jonah’s mum needs to know about her child being sick. Trudi mentions that if Rosie and Sam think this is not what they had signed for, there is the possibility to go back on their commitment to Jonah. Rosie feels outraged that Trudi even mentions this, but I think Rosie has a clear idea what should be done. I think she knows that Jonah wants to be with her mother, and she might be ready to take him to her for his happiness. I think that would be a painful, big step for a woman whose main purpose in life is to be a mother, and when she manages to get the child he has always longed for, she is ready to sacrifice herself.

Beautiful book!!!

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