What is this contest about? Have you ever read a sex scene that was so awful, you were laughing on the floor? If your answer is yes, do you think you can write one that’s worse? We mean better. No, that’s not right. Cheesier. Funnier. That’s it!
So without further ado, behold our first entry. To vote for this entry, please leave a comment on this blog post.
Reader Discretion Advised. Please read on if you dare. Closing the Deal by Rosanna Leo“As you can see, it’s fully furnished and this bedroom has a great view of the ocean. I think this one ticks all your boxes, Brianna.”
Brianna Hawthorne cast a glance toward the pounding surf but the only view that interested her was the one of her real estate agent Ridge Montgomery. Thanks to his luxurious dark hair, hard body and keen fashion sense, she hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything else. They had been dancing around each other for weeks now. Although she’d enjoyed his coy looks, she was ready to close this deal. “I don’t know, Ridge. I’m just not sure. I feel like I need to see…” She put a hand to her heaving bosom. “I need to see more.”
“Dammit, Brianna.” Ridge’s frustration finally escaped. “I’ve shown you seventy-eight properties.” His nostrils flared, as if he wanted to turn her over his knee.
Exactly what she had in mind. Their meetings had grown heated as they tried to deny their animal urges. Ridge Montgomery was the best of the best. Brianna knew he wouldn’t make the first move. He was too professional. He needed a nudge.
“I never said I needed to see any other properties.” She walked over to the king-sized bed. “I want to see more of you.” She unfastened the buttons on her blouse, exposing her cleavage.
Ridge’s gaze burned her like a fiery brand on the tender flesh of a new calf. He strode over and planted himself in front of her. “Those are … your breasts.”
“Why, yes, sugar. They are.” She slid out of her blouse and dropped her pencil skirt, stepping out of the puddle of clothing. “Want to see more of them?” She unsnapped her lacy bra and unleashed her velvety mounds.
“But…” Red in the face, Ridge stammered. “ This is unprofessional.”
“Ridge, darling. I don’t just want you as my agent. I want you in my life and between my thighs. Think of it as signing on the dotted line.” To emphasize her point, she slowly removed her silky thong, sliding it over her ample buttocks. Still in her stiletto heels, she bent over to remove them.
“Dammit, Brianna!” Ridge caressed her arm, his touch turning her insides to molten goo. “Keep the heels on.”
Yes! If she’d been wearing any panties, she would have creamed them. As it stood, her wanton moisture trickled down her legs.
Ridge’s eyes narrowed. “Well, well.” He touched her there. “Someone has sprung a leak.”
“It’s what you do to me.”
“Is that so? I must admit, I’ve been dreaming of this moment.”
She put her hand on his aroused package, rubbing him over his trousers. God in Heaven! He was the size of the prize cucumber she’d entered into the country fair when she was twelve. She’d won the blue ribbon then and she’d clearly won it now as well. “Ridge. You’re straining the seam on your pants.”
“I know.” His voice was nothing more than a guttural growl. “I should warn you, Brianna. I’m … larger than the average man.” His face fell. “Some might say too large.”
She touched his chin and made him look at her. “Not for me, Ridge Montgomery. Not for me.”
As she continued to stroke him, the most incredible thing happened. He continued to harden, so much so that the little threads on his trousers began to pop. Amazed at the display of unrelenting masculinity, Brianna cupped his balls and squeezed.
“Dammit, Brianna! I can’t hold it in any longer.”
As both his trousers and boxer briefs ripped open, destroying the garments forever, a monstrous rod emerged. Veined and purple, it reached up past the waist of his pants …well, what was left of his pants anyway.
Brianna touched a finger to the beast. Both horrified and intrigued, she smeared the thick precum all over the wide head and then licked her fingers. His stud essence was delicious, tastier than dill pickle juice.
She really loved dill pickles.
“I want you, Brianna Hawthorne.” He grunted. “You have no idea how hard it is for me to restrain myself. Every moment around you is a struggle.”
“Oh, Ridge. You never need to struggle again.” Grasping his noble member, she pumped him with two hands. “Maybe you should take the rest of your clothes off.”
His eyes rolled back in his head. “I … can’t …wait.”
“Then take me, Ridge. Take me as you’ve never taken anyone before!”
He pushed her back onto the bed, spread her legs and entered her with a mighty thrust.
She felt him right up under her ribcage and screamed.
She also blacked out for a few seconds, but mostly, it felt really good.
Brianna panted, stretched to her limits. He was the behemoth of brokers, her very own leviathan of listings. Ridge claimed her, put a lock box on her and took her to the bank. She welcomed him into her heart on a wave of womanly moisture. They came together on a lusty cry and his man nectar filled her to the rim. Even after her orgasm waned, he pulled out of her, aiming his cock at her stomach, pumping madly.
Still coming, he spilled himself all over her belly. And her thighs. And her breasts. She sucked in a breath as he aimed higher but he finally spent himself and fell next to her, exhausted.
Five minutes later, Brianna lay as still as a fly caught in a spider’s sticky web. “Um, a towel, please?”
“Of course.” Ridge jumped to his feet. “Let me get you a washcloth.”
“No. A towel would be better, thanks.”
Ridge wiped up the mess, cleaning up all traces of his love stew. “Dammit, Brianna. I love you. Are you ready to make an offer?”
“I love you, Ridge. You and your monstrous cock. And I’m ready to pay full asking price.”
THE END
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