I have always sung – and, since the age of ten or so, have always played the recorder (and a few other instruments). My love of music is profound. At school, and at university, I was a member of the choir and sang in ‘Noye’s Fludde’, ‘Miserere’ ‘A Ceremony of Carols’ and Haydn’s ‘Creation’ among other works.
Last night, as lights flickered in a violent electrical storm and hailstones knocked over chairs, small trees and benches, I set off, with my friends Jo and Gerry, to sample local choral group Cantalena (of which Jo is a long-term member). I confess I was both deeply excited – and absolutely terrified.
Terror first: For reasons irrelevant to this piece I have never learned to read music properly, and my knowledge of notes and technical terms is woeful. I knew that sight-reading was an important part of the group’s ethos and quailed at the thought.
Let me explain further: I play, and sing, predominantly by ear. I do not know what all the notes on my recorders are called (and am even worse on the fiddle); I could not begin to tell you which notes comprise a major scale, let alone a minor one; I had to have the words ‘minim’ and ‘crotchet’ explained to me.
If I hear a tune, I can sing or play it with ease – and will hear which note it needs to start on (the rest follow naturally) and will know which note on my recorder or violin makes that sound. But if you were to ask me, spontaneously, which note or notes I was playing, the chances are good, even excellent, that I would have no idea, other than, ‘Er, it starts on B – and, if you give me an hour, I can probably work out the rest through alphabetical logic!’
So there we were – getting back to the narrative – wintry wynds giving it some worrisome welly without, and a group of unknown musicians within. I was given a brace of scores – and, flicking one open, reeled in horror!
To make matters worse, I am, by nature, a Soprano and have always been one of the Sops in a choir setting. This time, for the first piece, I was to be Alto. Because there were four parts, all operating pretty much simultaneously, I could not listen out for what I needed to sing and was, very speedily, totally flummoxed. The jumble of black and white symbols shimmered on the page and made little sense. Everyone else seemed to be sight-reading with great competence, while I, bars behind, tried to follow and felt ashamed and upset.
Something clicked quite suddenly – helped by the fact that I was in the Sops for the second piece – and, able to listen and more or less ignore the ignominy of remedial grasp of sheet music, I could delight in the music, in producing sound, in singing, in harmonizing with a roomful of other choral singers.
The excitement grew. The joy and confidence began to come back. I realised that inability to decode musical notation is not the be-all and end-all of the musical experience (though it is jolly useful!) and that singing or playing goes far deeper than that. An analogy would be writing: Most of us become at least competent in decoding the alphabet – but there is more to being a creative writer than the ability to know the minutiae of language in the academic sense.
Music started before it was written down, and the composition part of it is simply a way of expressing that inner harmony and wonder, of communicating it in a language most people are capable of learning (if, in my case, rather slowly!).
It is the sound that matters and the bonding over a shared love. It is the re-creation of music left to us by composers both famous and anonymous that is the mainstay of all choirs – and it is this shared passion for music which has drawn me back to community singing time and time again.
I left the room on a high and am determined now to join Cantalena permanently. I feel very excited and happy – and will study the scores and listen to the sections we are singing on YouTube until I can sing along.
A side effect may well be an improvement in my sight-reading skills – and I may be promoted from, as it were, a Special Needs class to a normal bottom set for this! But, even if I do not improve, I will still get vast pleasure from singing, being part of a musical group and the beautiful music itself.
