“Are you my book?”
Rating: 1.25 stars
Why do I do this? Every time I find a free e-book on Kindle, I always walk into it with the expectation that it will be semi-decent. An every time I’m disappointed. Elfin was no exception. With amateur writing, one-dimensional characters, and underdeveloped worldbuilding, Elfin made my eyes hurt.
Elfin was one of those books that despite being trashy, was surprisingly addicting? Or perhaps that it was the quick pace that was addicting? I don’t know.
Elfin follows the perspective of a multitude of characters, but mainly focuses on that of Tirk and Cassie (who is so unmemorable that I had to go look up her name when I sat down to write this review). Upon assisting her father at his work, Cassie accidentally stumble upon some light Elves and thus Tirk, the dark elf spying on them. As soon as he meets Cassie, Tirk realizes that she’s his “Chosen” (think destined soul mate). The entirety of the story revolves around the two trying to come to terms with this realization.
Now for my favorite style of review: the Pro & Con list! (because we all know no one wants to read through a ranting paragraph version of this review and quite frankly, I don’t want to write it)
Cons:The Writing:
– Sooooo many spelling and grammar mistakes and spacing issues. I understand that no one is perfect and that one or two are undoubtedly going to slip by, but I must have come upon at least a dozen. For that reason alone this shouldn’t have been published how it is.
– Long, rambling sentences
– SUPER INFORMAL:
He pushed the door open and walked into what looked like a mad scientist’s lab in a cheesy spy movie.
(Please never write like this)
– Always referring to whether the characters are “appropriately” looking feminine or masculine. This was completely unnecessary; we really don’t need to encourage stereotypes.
– Omniscient third person
The Story:
– I’m not actually sure there was a plot?
– Soul mate/Mate/Chosen crap
– Using said soulmate crap to base a relationship between Cassie & Tirk on literally nothing
– Alpha Male bullshit
– No denial that elves exist (Um, how do you not freak out/go into denial when a man magically appears in your room claiming to be an elf and basically your soul mate? I would have gone all Rapunzel and hit him over the head with a frying pan.)
– A “super special” cast of main characters (please gag me with a spoon)
– Tirk constantly repeating “I don’t deserve you.” (I don’t deserve to have to read that a dozen times)
– I feel like Elfin royalty should not be so casual?
– Out of nowhere introducing a love interest for the best friend at 90%
– Flimsy magic rules
Pros:– The best friend, Elora, who was quite amusing
– A main character whose morals didn’t change when she met a guy! (I know; shocking!)
– The dad’s questionnaire for Tirk (“How many children have you fathered? And are they all by the same woman?”—-I died when I read that)
Overall, I’m so glad that the story is finished and that I’m no longer grating my mind against this disaster of a story. I really wish I could at least say this story had potential, but really it didn’t; it was so full off tropes there wasn’t anything salvageable. In hindsight I probably should have dnf-ed it, but a small part of me was curious to see where it ended up (it was a disappointment). Hopefully I’ve learned my lesson and won’t picked up any more horrendous romance e-books (and hopefully the few reading these have learned vicariously through me), but let’s be real; I’ll probably be back on here complaining again in a few weeks about another free e-book. For now though, I’m off to go cleanse myself with some quality YA literature.
