A few years back, in the Spring of 2014, I graduated cum laude with a Bachelors degree. The morning of graduation was full of stress and anxiety. In all honesty, I had no desire to even attend the ceremony, but in the end I decided to join my friends and classmates one last time. On that rainy day in White Plains, NY, I walked across the stage while people I didn’t even know shouted and clapped for me. I shook the hands of important figures as I was handed my diploma marking my four years of studying Media, Society and the Arts. I had a moment on that stage where I felt hopeful, hopeful that I was going to do great things and see amazing places. The downside was that it was only a feeling.
I’ve learned that you can never really trust your feelings, no matter how strong they may be. After college, my life seemed to go downhill and with it went my already bipolar sanity. The only company that would hire me was a grocery store 40 minutes from my house. Needless to say most of my paycheck went straight to my gas tank. In college, I had tried the online dating thing everyone was talking about and even after graduation, my OkCupid profile was still going strong. It was during my time working at the grocery store, miserable and broke in my neat and tidy red polo, that I thought I had met Mr. Perfect online. Oh how I wish I could go back and give myself a good slap in the face, but that’s not how we learn lessons in life. I met a guy who I thought I loved, who treated me anywhere between fair and like dirt and I was practically living with him for roughly seven or eight months. It was a one sided relationship and the only love that was ever present was his love for video games and beer. He was however, my biggest motivator to get out of the grocery store and into a real job where I could use my skills rather than waste them. With him pushing me to apply to different places in the area, I eventually landed a job at a market intelligence company. That’s when life took a turn for the better, for a while.
While I didn’t exactly know what I was doing at first, I caught on quickly and eventually loved my job. It wasn’t my dream career but it was a start and I used it as a learning experience. I came out of that job with more skills than I had going in and for that I’m very grateful. Unfortunately, I had to leave that job as our office closed in the Spring of 2017. I started my job search early, that previous winter when our bosses announced we’d be closed in as little as three months. As luck would have it, a nursing home nearby was hiring activities staff and they hired me after my first interview. It was certainly a long shot from my preferred job, but it was a job and it was something different for a change. I also had previous experience working with the elderly and dementia patients and I’m a creative person. Naturally, I figured the job would be a breeze, I was wrong.
You’d think doing arts and crafts with the elderly would be a fun and rewarding job. In many ways it was and I loved my residents, so much that I’ll probably write a post about them someday. I didn’t love the environment. It wasn’t just my work environment which would change from mania to hostility in a nanosecond, it was also the living environment of the residents. There was no need to report the facility as the state department of health was well aware of the things that went on there and the type of people who were employed to care for the residents. I left after a few months, partially because I was unhappy there and partially because I decided to move to Syracuse, NY so I could be with my fiance. My fiancé is not Mr. Video Game from earlier, he’s the right one, the perfect one.
Now, I’m faced with the challenge of finding a career in Syracuse, NY which is nearly impossible. I spend my time searching for jobs and traveling back and forth between Syracuse and my hometown. At this point in my life, I’m 26 years old, I’m bored, I feel hopeless, sad and angry. I’m engaged to a wonderful man who I plan on writing about often, especially about how we met. More on that later. The reason I created this blog and titled it Time Changes Everything is because for one, it is the name of one of my favorite Blue October songs and the meaning of the song applies to life. Time truly does change everything and just by writing this one post I can see how much has changed over the past four or five years. I know that with time, things will improve, jobs will be had and jobs will be lost, weddings will take place, children will be fostered and adopted, apartments will become houses and houses will becomes homes, good things will come to us and the tough times will hit hard but in the end that’s life. I might as well write about it.
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