Girl’s don’t date him!
It all started out innocently enough. We met at a lounge. (From this point on this guy doesn’t deserve a name I’ll just refer to him as he.) I was out with my girls. We all looked cute. He was a tall corn fed man, older than me by at least ten years (I would later find out how old exactly). The first date we had we went salsa dancing. We danced the night away and ended up going to an all night breakfast place with my friend and his friend and we all laughed the whole time. We did all sorts of different fun things around Charlotte. We went to sporting events; nice dinners and dancing. He would also wine and dine me at home!!! I loved it. Everything moved so fast. He loved having house parties, traveling he claimed to have his own company but later I found out he didn’t technically even have a job. We ate at his house because he used his food stamps… I spent the night and his cell phone went off at 6am. He checked it and quickly said he has to run some errands and go to the gym before he left town to see his family in Charleston. he was going out of town but the truth was his other girl would actually fly in to see him. She was a flight attendant. One day my intuition got the best of me while my gut told me he wasn’t going out of town! I went over just to check…. I saw his car in the driveway and went around back to see if I could see inside. I got what I was looking for! There he was, with a girl. They both came out and the girl and I had a long stare down. My problem was not with her, although she had a lot to say in the way of personal attacks against me. I yelled at him and actually slapped him and we didn’t talk for a few weeks…until …We made up; he told me that girl didn’t mean anything to him… so one morning a few afterwards while he was making breakfast he left his wallet and phone upstairs with me. I took the opportunity to look in his phone to see if my suspicions were true. I found numerous explicit and sexually graphic text messages from various other women including the flight attendant woman that flew to see him on a regular basis and a few other women in town. One woman that was married…(I’ll leave that alone.) I also found out he was 6 years older than he claimed to be by looking at his license. Being the cheating detective I am, I took a lovely picture of the beautiful breakfast he cooked me and saved it. I saved the number that he called most frequently and whom I thought was the same girl who came to visit him, the flight attendant. By that time he had come back upstairs to gather his phone and wallet, of course he wouldn’t want his secrets getting out. When I confronted him to see if he was seeing anyone else he explained that he wasn’t. A couple weeks later I did catch him out with another woman on a date. He is so charming he smoothed it over with me and apologized.
The biggest regret I have besides ever meeting him is after all this I accepted him back into my life again. He was so charming. I believed him. but I didn’t trust him at all. After he pulled the same excuse that he was going to visit his family I decided to really see if he was out of town. I discovered later that night when I stopped by that his car was in the driveway and his TV was on I could see from the window. I knocked on the door and a woman answered the door. He came to the door and said leave my property or I will call the police. Appalled and shocked by his response I was scared of getting arrested and being on the news and potentially getting a record so I left peacefully. He called me the next day to apologize. He explained that he didn’t really call the police. (Joke of the year) For the second time and last time I was done!
…. I sent the picture of us having breakfast to his other main squeeze I found out that she was the one he was seeing for a while. I also put him on a website warning other ladies not to date this dude.
A few weeks later I received a call at my work desk. It was from an “attorney” who said she would like to talk to me about a client who is going to take me to court for defamation of character for putting his name and information on a bad boyfriend website. I guess he found himself on the website. I was still in my 20’s at this time. I called my mom in a panic at work. Ironically, she also received a message from him. To this day I will never know what he said to my mom on her work voicemail but my mom and I have never discussed what was said in the message. My mom and I didn’t talk much for a few days after that. He continued to stalk me at work for a few months. I had to alert security at the gate not to let him in or give him any information about me. One day he called the receptionist at my job to find out my address. The receptionist wanted to give him the address to my desk. He was on hold on the other line. I told her firmly do not give him any information after she read back his number on the caller I.D. it was him. I changed my cell phone number after that. Who knows who else he left messages for at my job, no one said anything to me about it.
I never saw him for a year after that. When I unfortunately saw him again it was at another lounge. He acted as if nothing ever happened, he apologized about “how things went down”. Then he asked me if I wanted a drink, he told me I looked great(I did) and asked me for a dance. Charming!
