It’s Real;

The thing about depression is, you don’t know when it’s going to knock on your door or just come in without you allowing it to. That it is already poking you with its sarcastic expression. There is no class of person it targets. EVERYONE is a target. Actually, I believe that everbody is depressed and I think there is just a trigger that stimulates it, and each patient has a unique struggle.

One of the difficulties of which is your mood will change in a snap and you can’t pin point the reason why all of a sudden you feel sad… and you just want to curl yourself in bed and cry. That is hard. That is sad. 

Sometimes you will feel an intense amount of sadness without any reason, as in nothing at the top of your mind tells you why are tears falling in your eyes and why on earth are you sad.

It is hard to cry or just even want to cry without knowing why. It’s more painful to feel pain when you have no idea what hurts you. 

You don’t choose to stay away from people, it just happen. You suddenly pull yourself away even if you want some people’s comfort. Even if you want to have a conversation with some close and trusted people around or even with a stranger, but you just cannot find the energy to do so.

Sometimes the “increase in awareness” and other encouraging messages doesn’t help. (for me at least). 

Some will say, “stay strong”; “help yourself”; “we are here for you”; “relax”; “you have to love yourself first”; and the list goes on.. believe me, I want to be strong, I want to keep going, I want to just move on BUT it is not easy as counting 1, 2, 3. Every patient has their own struggle and ways to cope with the black dog (even the doctor told me this and I totally agreed with him).

There are days that you will feel unproductive, that’s okay.. I guess.

You will feel isolated, THAT is not okay, you have to have people around you regardless if you have suicidal thoughts or none, but most of the time, those people who said that they are just there…. are not there.

I think the best way you can help someone suffering from depression is not the kind and encouraging words (although that’s a nice thing to do) but just your presence. That matters more than anything else. No need to say anything, just make the person feel that they are not alone in this big world. That you are there (physically or virtually) for them.

To feel that you are depressed is one thing and to have a professional tell you that you are is another.

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