I find myself reflecting on a question asked of me recently. An office manager at one of my client offices casually wanted to know if I had any New Year resolutions. I was caught just a tad off guard and had to take a moment to decide how to reply.
I thought about the obvious replies: I want to run a marathon. I want to travel more. I want to get more organized. No, No and No. Or the proverbial: I want to lose weight.
Hell no.
I tried to come up with something quippy…but when I didn’t respond immediately, she turned to look at me directly.
So I bluntly said “I just want to keep on keepin’ on”.
Not what she’d anticipated, clearly. But she promptly nodded in agreement. “Ahhh, I hear ya!” She said it with that all-knowing tone of voice, and that was the end of conversation. She returned her attention to her desk, doing what no one can quite figure out.
Um, no. You don’t hear me. You don’t have an effin’ clue.
I want to keep on keepin’ on… to create more wonderful memories with my special peeps: my three kids, my husband, and our many extended family members and dear friends, all of whom I adore to the moon and back.
I want to keep on keepin’ on… to enjoy watching my grandchildren grow and thrive, as they become good and kind citizens of this world. I want to watch them treat everyone kindly, and to show respect and thoughtfulness towards those with whom they may disagree on many topics.
I want to keep on keepin’ on…in hopes that those who control the research dollars for cancer finally understand that early prevention does NOT save lives. The number of annual deaths from breast cancer has not changed in THREE DECADES. 40,000 a year. That’s 109 people a day. Just imagine a regional jet… crashing, with ZERO survivors, and some fatalities on the ground to boot…every single day of the year. An effing regional jet crash, every single god damned day of the year….
I wonder how long it will be before anyone starts a loud boisterous national march demanding that research dollars focus on that?
To be sure, I have enjoyed many blessings in 2017:
I’m still STABLE according to most recent scans, and for that I am incredibly thankful. The odds of hearing the R word (remission) are extremely remote, but I can be forever hopeful as science continues to advance, even if it is at a starving snails pace.
I’ve connected closely to several other ‘metsters’ around the country and even locally at the hospital where I get treated. They’ve become kindred spirits as we share our similar thoughts and concerns about the uncertainty of our futures. We boost each other up on all fronts.
I’ve found tremendous joy in a German Shepherd who was in need of a new home. I am so overjoyed every single day, as she continues to blossom in all the best ways possible.
I continue to work and stay busy. Having wonderful clients truly makes it a real pleasure to stay with it after all these years.
I continue to enjoy dabbling in paint…watercolor, acrylics. Who needs talent when you can simply lose yourself in the relaxation of creating something unexpected and often unplanned?
On the eve of this New Year, I reflect on many things.
I hope for a future filled with renewed strength, spirit, and prosperity for all. But most especially I reflect on the fragility of life. We’re all walking on the edge of an incredibly slippery precipice, yet some have no clue, nada…none. These are the folks who may in fact be so much better off that way. I sometimes wish I could join their club.
Please be thankful for those who love you, for that which makes you whole and for this glorious life we’ve all been gifted in the here and now.
Blessings to you and yours in 2018, my dear blogosphere followers. #livethedash
On the precipice…
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