No man is an island. Everyone on planet earth was born into a family. Therefore, right from when we could hardly differentiate between right from wrong, we already had relationships formed. We formed relationships with our parents, siblings and other family members. Then as we grew up, got into kindergarten, elementary through middle school and college, we formed other relationships.
Some relationships are formed with very solid foundations and are able to withstand the storms of life which very often bellows; however, some others may not be so fortunate. One important factor that determines the tenacity or looseness of the relationships we form is the value we place on them.
While some people may place more value on relationship by kinship, others may well look for solace in relationships formed outside their family circles. No matter your preference for the kinds of relationships you treasure the most, it is imperative to understand the fact that no one can live in isolation. Relationships do matter, and should be nurtured with trust. Be it relationships with our parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends or other family members, we must place more value in our connections with our fellow man.
The reality of the situation is that sometimes, we may inadvertently be wasting our times and resources on relationships which add no values to our lives. Relationships which devalue us, demean us, or generally overburden us with no return on investments (ROI). While committing to such unprofitable relationships, we in the process, depreciate relationships that should have added more value to our lives, and therefore lose out on their gains. This can be prevented by carrying out a thorough analysis of the value of the relationships in our lives.
It is time to ask yourself those thought provoking questions and free yourself from the pain and anxiety that tags along with some of them. Ask yourself, “what is the cost of this relationship?” (in literal financial terms), “what value does this relationship add to me?”, “do I feel motivated and empowered while lounging in this relationship, or feel distressed and worn out?”, “is this relationship causing me anxiety, rather than joy and happiness?”, “is this relationship making me depressed?” Some of these questions can only be answered truthfully by you. Personally, I have had to disengage from certain relationships that added no value to my life. Relationships that never sought to bring out the best in me, but only wanted me to remain at the same level of my life. I didn’t need anyone to advise me. I made the decision for myself; and you can too, if you want to start investing more in the relationships that add value to your life.
So many people have been trapped in negative relationships that sometimes, many suicides could have been prevented if someone had taken the extra step to notice that they were going down the hill. While we may not place all of our relationships on the same pedestal, we must endeavor to add value to those relationships which make us better. Some people are quick to state that they do not need anyone to survive on earth. Others may say that “I do my own things”. While these may appear valid on the exterior, in reality if we really are able to dig deep, we may find that these same people may be amongst the loneliest people on the block.
Placing value on the relationships we hold dear is an effective way to warm the heart, because with such comes beautiful memories that add flavor to our life’s journeys. We can all add value to our treasured relationships by:
- Making a decision to add more value to the people we hold dear. This is a conscious move. You have to be willing and decide completely to let it happen
- Going out of our way to actually show that we care enough about the other person by spending more time together, chatting over the phone, messaging, and if distance is no barrier, actual face to face visits, including the times we do not feel like it. In this age of social media, staying connected to the people we hold dear is a whole lot easier. But even with that, some people still have a hard time maintaining relationships
- Being more optimistic than pessimistic about our relationships by learning to trust, rather than being cynical
Life itself can be tough at times, with many twists and turns to it. Never underestimate the value of rock-solid relationships during those down times, because that may be the needed panacea to put you well over the circumstances of life. So, make the decision and analyze the costs of your relationships, and take the next steps to add more value to your most prized ones!
To your continued success. Cheers!!!
Evi Abada
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