So apparently there is some monster inside of me.
I don’t no if it comes from my anxiety or my over sexualised mind.
I’ve done some pretty horrible things to people I’ve been attracted to and sometimes loved.
Some pretty stupid stuff too.
This I like to keep to myself to a certain extent.
At the bottom of me I’m lonley. I want that idilic relationship that so many people seam to have.
So my quest for a relationship is definitely a mess. I am really out of my depth.
So it’s time to focus up on me , my kids and bettering my life.
It starts today with 40 day and night challenge.
Those firmilia with the film will no that for 40 days and 40 nights the lead trust to go without sex this includes masterbating .
I will be doing this starting from today 6th August until 14th September.
Hopefully this will desexualize myself and get things into perspective.
I am also going to rejoin my gym start working towards my weight loss .
A lot of how I feel about women not liking me is down to how I feel about myself looking in the mirror.
Then it’s the job I have. I suppose no job is easy especially when you are as anxious as I am. However I do think it is time for a change.
Wish me luck. If you have and advice please leave it in the comment section.
I will also be keeping a diary during my 40 day challenge.
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