I don’t know what it’s like to have someone love you, a boy love me without having to. I only know that it’s supposed to be this beautiful thing, this magical thing that makes you forget why you ever thought you no longer had a reason to exist. Sounds amazing right? I’ve spent my last eight years dreaming of a boy who will come into my life and make me love all that I am because he fell in love with it, with all that I am made of, every flaw and every scar and every regret, and he will not question if I am the right one for him because he will just know that I am. He will have had many other girls in his life and some might still even desire him but he will neglect them because in his mind the right one will be sitting right next to him. I will be sitting right next to him and he will ask me where I’ve been this whole time and I will let him know that I’ve been here all along waiting for him and we will build a beautiful life together and I will no longer feel so alone, so undesirable, so unworthy because I will have found a man so courageous and so worthy of me. I will have found a man who will not ignore me for not being skinny or for not having this amazing body. He will love me because I am not perfect and I will thank him for having the bravery to love a woman as complicated and as emotional as me and he will thank me for still having the strength to love someone after having spent so many years feeling like no one cared or deserved all the woman that I am.
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