Welcome back to Villain of The Week!
This one features Stephanie Brown, aka. “The Spoiler”
Now, Stephanie has changed a bit since you last read about her. She’s gone from being the crime -fighting goddess of Gotham to taking her name a bit more literally…
Gone are the days of kicking ass in the streets of Gotham, as Stephanie has spend most of her spare-time in the cinema, watching all the films you’ve looked forward to see. And you better hide, if you don’t want to know the plot of these films. She’s back in business, the one and only (SPOILER ALERT!)… THE SPOILER!
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It’s late at Wayne Manor. Bruce and Alfred are discussing which movie they want to see on their first night off in months.
Bruce: “Alfred, we must decide quickly. The cinema closes in less than three hours.”
Alfred: “I know, Master Wayne. Time is of the essence. How about that… Wait, I think there is someone at the door.”
*Enter Stephanie Brown, aka. the Spoiler*
Bruce: “Stephanie? How did you get in here?”
Stephanie: “I was Batgirl once, remember…?”
Alfred: “You ought to change the locks to the Batcave, sir…”
Bruce: “Thanks, Alfred… Stephanie, you’re just in time. We’re going to the movies and we cannot decide what we want to see.”
Alfred: “How about that 90’s movie with Brad Pitt… What’s it called… oh, Fight Club!”
Bruce: “Yes! A movie about kicking ass, I like it!”
Stephanie: “Is that the one, where Tyler Durden, the main protagonist, is a figment of the other main protagonist’s imagination? As in, he doesn’t really exist.”
Alfred: “Well… Yes, I guess…”
Bruce: “Stephanie. If you’ve seen the movie, please don’t spoil the plot for me. The decision is difficult enough as it is.”
Bruce sits down. He’s puzzled. Again, Alfred comes to his aid.
Alfred: “How about an Oscar-movie? The Revenant! With Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy!”
Bruce: “Oh, god no! Not Tom Hardy! That guy gives me the creeps! All the way into my broken spine.”
Stephanie: “Don’t worry, Bruce. Tom Hardy is the bad guy, who dies at the end, and Leo gets his revenge.”
Bruce: “Stephanie… Please! No more spoilers.”
Stephanie: “But you didn’t want to see it anyw…”
Bruce: “Stephanie. When Gotham is in ashes, then you have my permission to speak. Alfred, go on.”
Alfred: “Alright. How about Star Wars, the old science-fiction classic?”
Stephanie: “Great idea, Alfred! ‘Luke, I am your father’, haha, it’s such a quotable film!”
Bruce: “Oh my god, Stephanie! QUIT THE SPOILING! I cannot take it anymore!”
Stephanie: “Sorry, Bruce. I got carried away, alright…”
Alfred: “A film about superhero, perhaps? Batman Begins!”
Stephanie: “But aren’t you Batm…”
Bruce: “Yes! Great idea!”
Stephanie: “But Bruce IS the Batman…”
Bruce: “WHAT?! No way! NO! NO, NO, NO! Last chance, Stephanie! No more spoilers!”
Stephanie: “Bruce, I’m sorry… I… I’ve spend too much time at the cinema.”
Alfred: “Perhaps a TV-show, sir? Everyone is talking about that Game of Thrones-one…”
Stephanie: “Oh, my guts turned when Ned was beheaded in season one! I hate Joffrey!”
Bruce: “STEPHANIE!! ALFRED, HAND ME THIS WEEKS TV-GUIDES!”
Alfred: “Sir, I’m terribly sorry, but… I’ve lost them…”
Bruce: “WHERE ARE THEY!?”
Stephanie: “Bruce, calm down… You’ll never find both of them anyway.”
Bruce: “Stephanie, I’ve had enough of this! I just want a nice, relaxing night in at the Batcave. Leave! Both of you… I just wanna watch sports and go to bed early.”
Alfred: “Have you decided on a game to watch, sir?”
Bruce: “Yes, I’ll watch the NFL Superbowl of 2017 between New England Patriots and Atlanta Falcons.”
Stephanie: “Oh, you’re in for a treat! Patriots made the most insane comeback of all time and…”
Bruce: “GODDAMMIT, STEPHANIE!”
The Batcave explodes…
Thanks for reading!
/ The Batcast
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